Vicious Circles - By Leann Andrews Page 0,74
with the two felines. I fell gracefully to the couch and flipped the television on. “It’s just you and me, kid.” I said to the kitten before setting him down on the cushion next to me.
The apartment I was renting was not my final stopping place, thank hell. Shortly after my moment with Mason in Dave’s car, I decided that the house was a wart on my fucking toe and it had to be dealt with. It was sucking money and spirit from me. Mason couldn’t have been happier. The place meant horrible things to him and I had already caused him enough pain. We had caused one another enough pain.
We’d decided to take things slower the second time around because it just seemed like the right thing to do. He rarely stayed over and I concentrated on what I wanted to do in my life. It was sort of like finding myself but not really. I knew who I was, but I had never taken the time to decide what I could do. Acting was not in the cards for me. I finished my first big movie and declined all other offers that had come my way. Mason and I had gone to a few of my therapy sessions together. He was trying. The devil kitten was good proof of that. He’d rescued him from certain doom near a dumpster in Burbank.
“Did Dave go too?” I asked, my eyes trained on Pilgrim who was falling asleep face first in the couch cushion.
Mason closed the door and locked it behind him. “Yeah, he’s got some audition in the morning.”
He sat down next to me and I flipped sideways so I could cuddle up against him. “Mason, why did you feel like it was your fault…when I started using?”
“I felt like I should have stopped it before it got out of hand.” He sighed and lifted my face with his index finger. “I know better now.”
“You can’t control an addict,” I said, smiling up at him.
He leaned forward and kissed me lightly on the lips. “More like, you can’t control Fallyn.”
“Either one works for me.” I laughed and rolled away from him. “What would you say about me going back to school?”
“Where did that come from?” He pushed on my ass until I stretched out along the length of the couch.
“I don’t know…I’ve been thinking and it feels right.” I moved so he could lie down behind me. Pilgrim cried and I moved him to the carpet where he took off toward Martin.
Mason ran his fingers through my hair absentmindedly; he was tired. “I think you should do whatever makes you happy, Fallyn. I’ll adjust to whatever that may be.”
I stifled a yawn myself. “We’ve got two mouths to feed.” I gestured toward Martin and the ornery kitten hanging off his head. “I better learn how to do something and fast.”
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you too.”
“Do you remember that night in Philly?”
“You were an asshole,” I said immediately.
Mason rolled and pinned me underneath his body. “Take that back or you’ll be sorry.”
I admired the sexy, mischievous smirk on his face and decided I definitely wanted to try my luck. “You were arrogant and far too sure I was going to fall head over heels for you.”
“You liked it…”
“Someone needed to take you down a notch or two.”
He grabbed my waist and squeezed. I giggled which was something that was new to me. The feeling of being completely free was still so new and wonderful. The fact that the man I loved was so pleasing to the eye didn’t escape me. With all the shit I had going on before; I never took the time to just appreciate Mason. He was far from perfect, clearly…but I loved that.
Still, he managed to be everything I needed. The fact that we reconciled after all the drama that occurred between us was a damn miracle. I would admit that to anyone, anytime. He had internalized everything, every feeling, and it had eaten at him slowly. He’d admitted to me, in so many words, that he felt guilty for my brush with death and that was enough to keep him away.
We never really talked about Jill but he knew I put flowers on her headstone once a month. It was my way of making peace with myself.
I admired the way his cheeks wrinkled with his wide grin as we quietly looked at one another. “I think we got it right this time,” he said