The Vessel - Jenika Snow Page 0,46
done in my life, and irresponsible, but the one emotion playing through my mind was worry and anxiety.
Would Lucius want this if I was pregnant? Would he want a baby, especially with me? I knew he cared for me, but this went far beyond sex and having a relationship with a woman. This was a forever kind of thing. We didn’t talk about babies or marriage or anything like that. It was far too soon for those kinds of things, but I wouldn’t lie and say I didn’t think about them.
I loved Lucius. I truly did. I didn’t see myself with anyone but him.
Did he feel the same way?
Sure, I knew what he told me, how he felt for me, but when faced with something like this… things changed; people’s feelings changed.
Over the last few weeks, Lucius seemed insatiable with me. It wasn’t just about the sex though—which was incredible—but about the quiet time we shared, the moments when he just held me, when he told me he cared for me.
Lucius lavished attention on me, showed me that he was so much more than he showed everyone else. His protectiveness was intense at times, his need to keep me close very real and potent, but I liked that. I’d never had anyone want me the way Lucius did, the way he touched me, spoke to me… looked at me.
I felt owned by Lucius, but not in that proprietary way, like an object, but in the way that someone cared so much about me that he wanted me as only his.
Surely, he’d have known this could be a result? It wasn’t like we used protection, and well, sex without that could very well end up where I was at right now.
I closed my front door and headed to the bathroom. I turned on the light, the florescent bulb flickering a second before it stayed on. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, the glass murky-looking from age, the corner having a spider line crack in it. The girl who stared at me looked terrified.
Once I had the test on the counter, I looked inside the plastic bag at the random shit I bought so it didn’t seem like that’s all I’d gone to the store for.
A bottle of water, a bag of candy fish, three packs of gun, and a trashy magazine.
I snorted at my contents and shook my head as I set the bag on the counter and went about figuring out how the hell to use the test. I read the box a couple times, the process simple enough, yet it felt so hard at the same time.
After doing what needed done, I set it back on the counter, closed the lid of the toilet, and sat down, waiting. Those few minutes it took for the test to do its thing seemed like an eternity.
I set a timer on my phone, and when the alarm went off, my heart stopped. I straightened, looked at the stick, and reached out to pick it up with shaky fingers. My heart was beating so hard and fast I felt it everywhere.
And then I looked down at the little clear window, my throat tightening even further at the results.
Positive.
I stared at that display screen that showed two pink lines. And then I exhaled, not realizing I’d been holding my breath. Slowly, I set the test back on the counter and stared at the tub, my mind blank, maybe shock settling in.
I was pregnant. I was pregnant with Lucius Blacksmith’s baby, and I didn’t know how to tell him.
I was terrified at the prospect of being a mother, of telling Lucius about this, and I couldn’t help but let those negative thoughts play through my head.
Will he leave me because of this? Will he blame me, as if this was solely my fault?
I felt like I knew Lucius pretty well, even after this short time of us being in each other’s lives, but how well do you really know someone when you’re both faced with the hard truth of your lives changing forever?
I guess I was about to find out.
29
Elise
My entire body was humming, my hands shaking, adrenaline rushing through my veins. As I stepped into the elevator of the massive skyscraper where Lucius’s office was located, my heart was in my throat. I should’ve waited until he came home, because honestly this was a private matter.
But I was excited, nervous… terrified.
And so I found myself hopping in a cab and going straight