entirely. The guy gave Eva the creeps back then, and that hadn’t changed. Even Caleb hated him, and, though discerning, he was usually pretty accepting of all the guys who hung around the clubhouse, members or not.
“I wish I could come.” Nika’s voice rang with regret. “I know how hard it’s going to be for you.”
“Yeah, but I’ll get through it.” Would she? “My mom’s friends won’t mind entertaining me. I’m glad you guys are finally going out,” she forced herself to add. Even though “out” to Kevin probably meant to the garbage chute in the hallway of their apartment building, but whatever.
“Yeah,” Nika murmured with zero enthusiasm. “Are you at the airport?”
“Not yet. I’m at Caleb’s, dropping off some crap he left at my place. He was supposed to pick it up last night but didn’t show.”
“That’s not like him.”
Eva smirked. “Probably lost track of time with one of the girls.” Caleb Paynne was never short of female attention. He was a big, handsome brute, had muscles for miles, and the cut he wore over his broad shoulders put him in the same sought-after category as a minor celebrity.
“Probably. Dick move, though. So what time will you be home?”
“Not until after midnight. Actually, it’ll be after nine your time.” She stepped out of the elevator and made her way down the threadbare hallway, sandals snapping. “I’ll Uber home from SeaTac and hopefully see you tomorrow…?” If Kevin allowed it.
“I’ll come early and help you clean. If I can get away this afternoon, I’ll go over and open the house up. It’s going to be stuffy. Sorry I can’t come to the airport—”
“Nika, don’t worry about it. I know how things are.”
“Yeah.”
Eva rested the box on the handle of Caleb’s door to give her arms a break and frowned at the helplessness coming through the line. She’d met Nika in middle school, and they’d remained close all the way through their time at Seattle Pacific University. Nika had gotten her accounting degree and headed straight into the workforce after grad, but Eva—at her mom’s prodding—had continued her education by coming to New York to attend Columbia. Over the last couple of months, she’d never regretted a decision more.
“Listen, I’ll be home in no time and, even though I know nothing needs fixing, we’ll fix everything right up. Okay?”
“Okay. I’m dying over here without you.”
Her nose instantly stung, her eyes watering. Shit. She couldn’t deal with that tone. It was bad enough she was feeling the same thing herself; stark loneliness. Sure, she was going home, but “home” without her mom was just an empty house that Eva now owned by default.
“Same. But I’ll see you in the morning. ‘Kay?”
“Can’t wait.”
Hanging up, she tucked her phone away and sniffled, thinking the grief counselor she’d forced herself to see at school needed to find a new line of work. So much for the assurance that Eva would snap back after making it through the five steps of grieving.
Step one hadn’t lasted long. The moment she’d seen the burned-out shell of their MINI Cooper, there had been no denying a car accident had taken her mom’s life. Dental records had simply confirmed Kathryn Jacobs had been the only one in the vehicle at the time.
Coming back to New York after the funeral, Eva blew through step two, anger, like a champion, studying for her finals—acing every single one so as not to fail her mom—while raging over the fact that this had happened to them. Okay. To her. It had happened to her, because she was the one left suffering.
She’d swiftly moved on to check the remaining three off the list, bargaining, depression—she was excelling at that one—and acceptance.
This shouldn’t be so difficult for her. She didn’t struggle through shit. She sailed. She succeeded. She worked her ass off, did everything right, and succeeded. The perfect student. Perfect friend. Perfect daughter. She normally excelled at everything she did.
So why couldn’t she master grief?
She shook her head, wondering if the issue was somehow hereditary. Who knew? She couldn’t ask her mom. Certainly couldn’t ask her sperm donor, who’d abandoned them when she was only a couple of months old. The asshole could be dead, too, for all she knew.
And if he wasn’t, would he even care that his daughter was alone in the world now, she wondered again, as she’d done so often lately.
Yet another fruitless way to pass the time in her head.
Snorting, she shoved the rich Russian prick out of her thoughts