Velvet Midnight - Max Walker Page 0,36

perfect and so, so fucking needed.

“You’ve got to love yourself, Rex.”

“Coming from Mr. Olympian here, that means a lot.”

“I’m far from an Olympian.” He took his hand back, leaving a warmth on my chest.

“Thank you, Benji. Even though you’re like four years younger than me, I still look up to you, no matter what Mav says. I was feeling like shit this morning, and I didn’t think I’d be feeling better anytime soon. I was wrong. I should have known, too. As long as you’re around, it’s pretty much impossible for me to feel like shit.”

Benji dropped his head, as if he were bashful. Of what? And were his cheeks turning pink?

Fuck. He doesn’t even know how I feel about him…

“Benji, there’s something else we have to talk about.”

I had to do it. This couldn’t wait any longer. I knew I was bisexual, and I knew I had growing feelings for Benjamin Gold, and I knew I had to say it all out loud. My dad and stepmom were hundreds of miles away. Benji was telling me to love myself, but I had been keeping a huge part of myself stuffed down, making it impossible to even start the process of loving who I was.

This was the start of that process.

“I’m all ears,” he said, shifting on the bench so he faced me. Behind us was the home we were staying at, the sounds of laughter coming from one of the open windows.

“First, I wanted to say thank you, for being a good friend. Mav is my best friend, but you might be my favorite Gold brother, for sure.”

He laughed at that, his cheeks a brighter shade of red.

“Don’t tell him I said that.”

“I won’t.”

Deep breath. This was it.

“You and I, we click really well. I don’t think I’m the only one who’s noticed—”

“You’re not.”

“And it’s gotten me thinking, a lot. About, well, about—”

“Rex! Benj! What are you two doing over here? We’re about to head down to the beach. Come on.”

It was Maverick, walking over in his white board shorts and a beach towel thrown over his shoulder.

I’d never been more disappointed at seeing my best friend. Benji shot me a look and then, under his breath, said, “We’ll talk later?”

“Sounds good,” I answered, unsure if I’d even have the courage to bring it up again.

From somewhere up in the trees, Sammy the capuchin monkey finished up her apple and let it drop, the core falling off my head and bouncing to the ground.

15

Benjamin Gold

I hurried to help pick up the fallen vegetables. Our heads almost bumped together in that dumb rom-com way that would have made me roll my eyes while wishing it was our lips bumping together.

Jeez. Five seconds in my space and I’m already back to fantasizing about him.

“Thanks, Benj.” Rex said, holding an armful of veggies. He looked real good today, with his beard trimmed up and his hair swooping to the side, his bright blue eyes catching the sun like they were tiny gemstones. They matched with the sky blue of his shirt and the light blue of his jeans.

It also didn’t hurt that blue happened to be my favorite color.

“These for the horses?” I asked, nodding toward the stables.

“Mostly. Some of it is going to the nursery.”

“Gotcha,” I said.

“How’ve you been, stranger?” Rex said as I started walking back toward the stables. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in years.”

“So dramatic.” I rolled my eyes and smiled. “It’s only been sixty-five years and three days.” I feigned my back giving out. If Rex was going to tease me, I might as well play along. I’d already made a big enough fool of myself around him; a little more foolishness wouldn’t hurt anyone.

“You look great for being sixty-something. What’s your skincare routine?”

“Lots of tears and pizza grease.”

“Sounds right up my alley.”

“Oh, and a dash of cumin.”

“Excuse me?”

“Cumin. The spice.” I shot him a smirk. “Along with some come.”

Rex snorted at that. I laughed along with him, feeling a spark of normalcy run through me again. This felt like the old days, when Rex and I would bust our stomachs laughing over the stupidest shit.

It was nice. Really nice.

We joked around some more, the tension I expected to feel around him completely nonexistent. I realized I had been avoiding Rex for no good reason. So what if I’d asked him to be my boyfriend out of the blue? So what if I’d curled up into a ball of fatalistic embarrassment that night and the