My laughter quiets. “I really liked you, but after watching what my father went through, I… I thought we were too serious.”
“How were we that serious? Don’t get me wrong. It felt serious to me, but it’s all relative, right? I didn’t date that much while you did. So how did you get weirded out when you and I never really… got that intimate?”
My lips tug up. “Not for lack of fantasizing on my part.”
Her cheeks flush, and she bites her lower lip. “You fantasized about me?”
“Definitely.”
The playful look on her face falls away, and she untangles our hands. “You mean while you were out sleeping with other girls?”
I wince. “I admit I was a dog to ghost you like that, but I like to think I’ve grown up since then.”
Her eyebrow pops up. “You’re trying to tell me you’re not a fuckboy any longer? Because I hear a lot of stories about what goes on at your house whether I want to or not, and none of them are complimentary. You should’ve seen the shit I walked into on Halloween night in your living room.”
I can only guess. “And do you know where I was at that moment? What I was doing?”
She wrinkles her nose. “Please don’t tell m—”
“I was wearing noise-cancelling headphones, asleep in my bed. By myself.” I want to tell her I haven’t gotten laid much this semester, but that sounds gross, even in my head.
Leaning away, she crosses her arms over her chest and rolls her eyes. “What about that girl Miranda? I saw the text she sent you last night. It popped up on your screen when I handed you your phone. Don’t tell me you’re not fuckbuddies or whatever.”
I almost smile because, holy hell, is she jealous?
Something tells me the only way to convince her that I’m not the player she thinks I am is brutal honesty. “We were something like that. But we’re not anymore. I tried to break it off a few weeks ago, but she’s not getting the hint. And for the record, I’ve been very direct in my conversations with her, in telling her what I want.”
Her eyes meet mine. “What exactly do you want, Rider?”
My throat feels tight. I take a breath. For some crazy reason, I feel like I’m trying to throw for a touchdown. “Just… I need us to be friends again. I miss you, Gabby, and I regret how I treated you. And with everything with Poppy, I’m being reminded of how amazing you are.” I shrug. “I miss our friendship. Don’t you?”
My heart feels like it’s gonna beat out of my chest with that confession.
“And that’s all you want?” she asks warily. “Friendship?”
Yes. No. Fuck, I don’t know.
“That’s all I have time for right now.”
Do I miss our friendship? Absolutely. Do I want to fuck her until I can’t walk anymore? Definitely. Can I handle anything beyond sex right now while I juggle all the other shit in my life? Probably not. So yeah, I guess I’d better keep my damn hands to myself.
“And you’re not going to ghost me again?” she asks. The vulnerability in her voice kills me, and I reach for her hand again. “Because it sucked to open up to you about being in foster care only for you to disappear on me.”
I close my eyes. Christ. No wonder she thinks I’m a douchebag.
“I promise I won’t disappear again. You’re officially stuck with me now.”
She tries not to smile, but her lips reluctantly tilt up.
I give her my best puppy-dog face. “Does this mean I’m forgiven for being an epic asshole?”
She studies me for a moment, and I wonder what she sees. Does she see trailer-park trash? The kid of an alcoholic? A meathead jock? A guy who’s just barely hanging on some days?
But her eyes turn playful. “I feel like I should make you work for it.”
The relief that floods me is overwhelming. “I’m willing to put in the hours.”
We stare at each other as we laugh, and even though I won my game today, this somehow feels better.
24
GABBY
My eyes crack open against the early-morning sun, and I come face to face with beautiful, big green eyes.
“Hey, girlie.”
Poppy smiles and coos at me and holds up her arms to me so that I’ll lift her out of her playpen.
After a quick diaper change, I hoist her onto my hip and we head into the living room, where I find Ramona and Sienna staring at Rider, who’s sleeping soundly on