my coach likes to say, it’s time to grow up. Fast.
18
GABBY
When I return, Rider’s house is quiet for once.
Poppy is glued to her father’s chest and is sucking on her fist while she watches me with solemn eyes. I swear the little muffin knows something serious happened tonight. She hasn’t made a peep all evening.
Rider is barefoot, sporting a faded t-shirt that hugs his muscular shoulders and bulging biceps. His dirty blond hair is messy, like he just got out of bed, and he’s so damn handsome, it hurts to look at him.
I told myself I’d go back to my side of the street and stay there if my brother wasn’t Poppy’s father, but then we got the paternity results, and Rider looked so freaked out. Like a virus crashing the mainframe of a computer, the minuscule piece of my heart that still had a hardcore crush on him somehow re-wired the rest of me and weakened my resolve.
No, this is for Poppy. Not Rider.
I rub my temple, wondering when I turned into such a liar.
Fine. I’m doing this for both of them.
She snuggles closer, and he kisses her forehead.
Poof. There go my ovaries in a flash of lust.
I look around, hoping one of Rider’s roommates will come stomping through the kitchen, but they’re giving us a wide berth.
Mesmerized, I watch Rider rub Poppy’s back as he reads her feeding and nap schedule I tweaked today.
Shifting in my seat, I motion toward the paper in his hands. “You probably don’t need me to tell you this, but you can adjust anything as you see fit. I just threw something together that worked with your training and classes. She was already taking two naps, but I thought if we moved them around a bit, you can get some time with her in the evenings before she goes down for the night.”
He probably doesn’t want to hear my thoughts on child-rearing, but I suppose he could extrapolate that I think he needs to spend more time with her. I don’t mention how he got out of his babysitting shifts last week, but judging by the overwhelmed look in his eyes, he’s regretting not paying attention sooner. “You’ll also find accompanying NDAs under the next tab, listed alphabetically, with people’s contact information, for everyone who’s already had a shift. I included blank copies in the back for when you get additional babysitters.”
I wait for him to say something, but all he does is nod, so I continue.
“Her formula has directions on the can, but I included the tabulations here if you need to make bigger batches.”
After twenty minutes of blabbing endlessly about diapers and rashes and burping, I take a breath because I’m getting tired of hearing my own voice.
“Rider, please stop me if you already know this.”
His eyes meet mine. “I don’t know anything.” He pauses. “Anything. Before you showed us how to hold her last week, I couldn’t even do that.”
He looks down at the floor and his cheeks turn ruddy. Oh, dear God, is he embarrassed? I can’t handle seeing this vulnerable side of him.
“You’re doing great.” Tonight, he gave her a bottle and burped her afterward. Changed her diaper and her onesie. Of course, I explained everything, but he did it all without complaint. And although he’s been somewhat taciturn, he’s super gentle with her. “I’m sure you’ll ace this just like you do football.”
His face pales, and he swallows. “Gabby, how am I supposed to do it all? I’m not a great student. I’m not horrible, but I’m definitely average, which you can attest to. I have to study. A lot. When I’m not practicing or playing, I’m in class. When am I supposed to sleep?”
I don’t bother to sugarcoat it. “You gut it out. You go hard or go home. All of those sports adages apply here. You’re a senior, an All-American athlete, in your final season. You just have to get through, what, two more months of football, and your schedule will lighten up. Then you study your ass off, graduate, get drafted, and live happily ever after with your beautiful daughter and give her the life she’s meant to have. At the end of the day, everything you sacrifice now will be worth it. I promise.” I mean every single word. “Do you have any family who could lend a hand?”
He shakes his head. “I can’t leave her with my father. He’s a drunk, and my mom took off a few years ago. There’s no