Silence. Then Jacob broke it with a question that I’d never thought to ask myself.
“Do you really want to break her?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
Jacob smirked, only one corner of his mouth curling.
“Because then she wouldn’t be as much fun. Tell me how many women have affected you like she does.” He laughed. “Hell, name one.”
Only one name came to mind, and it belonged to a woman locked away for the time being, at least until I could decide what to do with her.
His voice dragged me back. “That’s what I thought.”
I sniffed at the judgment in his tone, a bead of sweat slipping along my neck to trail down farther over my chest.
“You’re wrong.”
“Liar.”
Shaking his head, Jacob clapped his taped hands together, jumped a few times and rolled his shoulders.
“You keep telling yourself whatever you need to. But the way I see it is you’re torturing yourself more than her at this point. Whatever you do, she finds a way to live with it. She makes friends. She endures. While you stew in whatever bullshit you’re refusing to let go. So, keep stewing if you want. Or, put yourself out of your misery and let it go.”
He allowed the silence to linger, but then pushed away from the wall where he’d been leaning.
“As for me, I’m jumping in the shower, sneaking a woman upstairs for the night and letting go to the fact that I can’t get enough of her. While you, apparently, are going to continue being an idiot and resisting what we all know will happen.”
His eyes met mine, sincerity shining behind them.
“You loved her all your life. Hated her, too, but only because you loved her. She’s changed, Callan. So, I guess the only question left to ask is: Are you willing to change as well?”
My pulse was a drum through my veins, hard and forceful. Everything about Lisbeth drove me to the brink. I could have continued arguing, but there was no point. Jacob wouldn’t believe anything I had to say. Most likely because he was right to tell me I was full of shit.
Sighing, I stabbed a hand through my hair and tugged at the strands.
“I’ll deal with her tonight.”
“Thank fuck. You’ve been a moody bastard, and I’m sick of watching you stalk around the mansion just looking for a reason to fight.”
I laughed, a soft bark of sound.
“Do I ever need a reason?”
Cocking a brow, Jacob nodded.
“For that matter, do any of us?”
Stepping away, he called over his shoulder.
“I’m out. I recommend you go downstairs and finish this shit. Try not to hurt her too much.”
Easier said than done.
Lisbeth had her claws in me. She always had. And when she raked them across my skin, I bled violence that would rip her apart if I didn’t restrain it, would destroy her if I didn’t hold myself back.
She was the only one.
Her voice.
Her scent.
Her face.
Her body.
Everything calling to me while pushing me away at the same time.
Avoiding her wasn’t ending a battle, it was only fanning the flames, the tension inside me building until all I knew was the need I had for her.
But could she ever truly make up for what she’d done?
Could she ever repair the damage caused by her lies?
I didn’t like to think that rather than suffering her pride, it was mine I choked on now.
Forgiveness is difficult when the ego refuses to bow down, and absolution is impossible when we’re chained to a refusal to accept sin.
Are any of us ever truly blameless?
Was there a single person who could claim they didn’t carry the fault of hurting another, whether it was on purpose or simply an unintended ripple of them fighting for whatever it was they wanted?
In this fight, I was as responsible as her. And until I accepted that my continued hatred was only a mechanism of self-defeat, I could never win.
I was a Rose in name only. Lisbeth has been right about that. But I certainly had their vanity.
Which meant I wouldn’t submit. I wondered how well that would work when Lisbeth wasn’t the type to submit either.
That only made Jacob more correct than I wanted him to be.
It was Lisbeth’s fire that attracted me to her when I was young, and it was that same fire that held me enthralled even now.
Call me a glutton for punishment, or maybe the truth was more sinister than that.
Call Lisbeth the only woman I’d ever known who was strong enough to carry the burden of