realizing generalities weren’t going to cut it. “There was this one vamp I killed. It was one of those that Daegan mentioned before, where it was self-defense on my part, and he had a female servant.” He swallowed, the memory still a tough one, but this was for Anwyn’s comfort, not his. “Sometimes it takes two or three minutes for the servant to die after the vamp does. I ended up staying with her, holding her hand until she passed, lying on his chest.”
He lifted his gaze to hers. “I’m supposed to hate her for the fact she chose to be the servant of a guy who did unspeakable things, but when she looked at him, she didn’t see that. It didn’t mean she was right, or less blind, but when she needed a hand to hold while dying, because she was afraid, I couldn’t deny her that. And in that moment, she didn’t seem to mind her last comfort came from her killer. Things are always more complicated, and less complicated, than we think they are. Wherever your sister is, she loves you, and she’s hoping like hell you’re happy, because she knows you deserve it. I don’t have to know anything else about her to know that. Because I know she loved you. There’s just no way she didn’t.”
Tears filled her eyes. Her chin firmed again, holding them in, the fragility and strength warring against each other so fiercely. He knew she needed that battle, so he let her have it, though he suffered watching it. She didn’t move for long moments, and he didn’t disturb her, merely holding that connection as she found that balance she needed between the horror of her memories and the volatility of their present, and how she would rise above both. He would give her whatever strength she needed to do both, and so was content to stand there as long as she needed him to do so.
Her gaze lifted to him, her eyes telling him she heard his thoughts. She had a personal struggle about that as well, thoughts he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear. But as her lips parted to speak what he was trying to avoid reading, they heard the sound of footsteps in the corridor.
Both of their heads turned immediately toward the door. Anwyn slanted Gideon a smile, the shadows of her past lingering but obviously already being drawn back into the corners of her mind, where he knew she’d bury them even deeper than her gremlins could find. “Look at the two of us. We both perked up like a pair of spaniels, didn’t we?”
“If it’s all the same to you, I’d prefer to be a more masculine breed.”
“How about an ox?” she asked sweetly, and then fended off his pinch with an indignant swat as Daegan came through the door.
“I see being flogged half to death hasn’t taught him any more respect,” he remarked.
Gideon didn’t bother to retort, more concerned about what he saw in Daegan’s face, the taut lines around his sensual mouth. His dark hair was spiked, as if he’d been raking it. Anwyn went to him, rising on her toes to smooth down the strands.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“As we thought, Brian was at the dinner because of what Vincent witnessed. Belizar demanded a full report from him after he met with you.”
Gideon’s eyes narrowed. “Did he tell Belizar about his time with us before?”
“No.” Daegan shook his head. “Brian confined his report to the present. He made it clear the condition was manageable, as long as Anwyn had my continued supervision as sire. He smoothly noted he already had some ongoing research, some injections that he thought would keep her functioning quite well. Unfortunately, the Council tends to turn information to their own objectives.”
“We met their tests, and it pissed them off. They want somebody to suffer, to feel like they still hold the upper hand.” Gideon saw the truth in Daegan’s gaze as Anwyn let out a creative and very unladylike curse.
“Us torturing Gideon in front of them wasn’t enough suffering? Are these people all psychopaths?”
“A servant suffering isn’t really suffering,” Gideon said shortly, so Daegan wouldn’t have to say it. Calm readiness descended on his body, as if it already knew a fight was ahead. “So what’s the bullet?”
Daegan swept his gaze over them both. “Lord Uthe pointed out that someone with this type of uncontrollable affliction would be an automatic addition to my termination list.”