Upside Down (Breaking the Rules #3) - A.M. Madden Page 0,8

got.”

“I can’t wait to hug that munchkin.”

“He’s a demon child,” Sam blurted out, earning a smack from Rebecca.

“He’s a toddler, jackass,” I said, defending my godson.

My nephew Antonio was finally at the fun age, as I liked to call it. Mobile. Reactive. Easily brainwashed… another soldier to add to my minion army who worshiped their uncle Coop. “I miss him.”

“He misses you too. And he would miss his uncle Sam if he wasn’t so uptight around him.”

“I’m not uptight. The kid has projectile vomited on me six times. Real evil shit.” Rebecca’s eye roll went ignored when he asked, “Where’s Lydia?” His eyes frantically searched the deck in an obvious display of his infatuation with his fiancée.

“Calm down. She’s putting away her honeymoon purchases.”

“New lingerie? I’ll never pass up an opportunity.”

“Gross.”

He wiggled his eyes and waved a hand between us. “You two catch up.” Before he walked away, his eyes met mine, an unspoken thumbs-up to share my news with our sister. “Bye.”

Rebecca turned back to me with a brilliant smile but then frowned upon seeing that my thoughts had invaded my expression. “Hey, are you okay?” She took my hand and dragged me toward a leather banquette.

“Yeah,” I lied while rubbing a soothing hand down her arm. “It’s great to see you. You look so happy, Becks.”

“I am.” Her gaze zoomed in on my face. “But you’re not. Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“Why does something have to be wrong?”

My response did little to ease her worry. And just like Sam having been reminded when I first saw him, she raised her brows and asked, “Where’s Ree? In your cabin?”

“She didn’t come.” For the second time, with probably ten more times to come, I explained what happened while watching my sister’s empathy.

“Don’t get mad… but I’m not surprised.”

“What?” Narrowing my gaze, I asked, “Why?”

“She’s a great person, and I think you guys fit well. But when I first met her, I didn’t see the same spark in your eyes that I saw in hers.”

“That in itself is the problem. I care about her but—”

“You’re not in love with her,” she cut me off. “I get it. It’s hard to understand what’s missing until you actually find that mind-blowing connection. And you’ll find it, Coop.”

Glancing out at the horizon, I sighed exhaustedly. “I don’t know, Becks. Maybe I’m looking too hard… or maybe my expectations aren’t realistic. The only thing I can reference finding love with are the exceptional tales I teach. Dumped on Valentine’s Day. Can it get any more pitiful than that?” I gripped the back of my neck and sighed. “I do know that I’m sick of hearing myself singing this same old song over and over.”

Rebecca leaned into me to nudge my shoulder. “Then let’s get you a new song.” Her eyes widened in that way that meant a bad idea was coming. “Permission granted to set you up? I can probably think of someone you’d be perfect—”

“No.” I now stopped her midsentence with a raised palm. And for good measure added, “No, no, no.”

“Oh, come on, Coop. Don’t you trust me?”

“Nope.”

The next nudge came from a rigid fist to my chest. “Now that’s not nice.”

“Becks, all kidding aside, I need to take a break from romance. My brain hurts.” As did my heart. Not from being broken, or losing love, but from never having felt it. I wasn’t kidding when I’d said to Sam being a man-whore sounded appealing.

I’ve never been intimate without wondering if she was the one. When I slept with a woman, it was always based on a cause and effect. She caught my eye or intrigued me, and the sexual relations that followed were my way of exploring the lure I felt.

Not going in with an agenda of finding my soul mate held some appeal.

Maybe I should start paying an escort?

Maybe Mr. Romance needed a new game plan.

I decided to eat an early dinner out on deck. To my left, the hot sun began to set over the Fort Lauderdale skyline. On my right, the ocean, calmer than earlier, had barely a ripple in the deep azure expanse. And during the meal, the waitstaff went above and beyond by catering to my every whim.

A few beers, a delicious filet mignon dinner, and the tranquil atmosphere all conspired to narcotize me enough that exhaustion set in.

An hour later, I decided to get to bed with hopes to sleep through until morning. It’d been something I hadn’t done in so long. On average, I