Upside Down (Breaking the Rules #3) - A.M. Madden Page 0,29

was confused. In the process, I unintentionally lifted the lid on my can of worms just enough to have a few of them squirm out.

Metaphorically, Rebecca had become one of those pesky worms. And surprisingly, it was Riana who had become my sounding board.

A true friend to the core. Never judging me or our time together, but instead offering advice on how to better understand what had happened between Ricky and me. In all fairness, Rebecca hadn’t judged me either. Although she loved me very much and would support me in any way, she also loved Ricky and didn’t want to see either of us getting hurt. Having said that, she also saw an opportunity if he and I were indeed meant to be.

The mere notion was beyond ridiculous.

Riana, on the other hand, had focused on wanting to help me convert into my true self… not the self I felt I needed to be—the self I should be.

Whether that be gay or straight remained the question.

Riana truly believed that intimate moment I’d had with Ricky had nothing to do with my inebriated state. Deep down, neither did I, but, well… it was easier to use that as an excuse.

“Cobb salad for you,” the waiter said, placing it down before Riana. “And a cheeseburger with the works,” he added, meeting my eye for the second time and holding my gaze. “Can I get you anything else?” he then asked me directly.

“No, we’re good. Thanks.” Looking away and ignoring his lingering stare, I prepped my burger. No sooner had he moved to another table than Riana released an audible huff. “What?”

She leaned closer and whispered, “He likes you.”

“So?” I asked, annoyed that yet another man had assumed I was gay. It happened often, and it had never bothered me before, but now I felt like I had a blinking neon sign over my head that read SEXUALLY CONFUSED.

“So… he’s hot!” Cutlery clinking against porcelain dishes along with noisy chatter did little to muffle her claim, and a few turned to stare at us, causing her cheeks to tinge red. “Sorry.”

“I’m not interested,” I answered, grumbling what had become a mantra of sorts. Riana believed I should be more receptive when a man showed interest, which had already happened a few times in her company, as proved by the waiter. It was only because of her prodding that I’d accepted an invite from one of the other professors to grab a beer. I had suspected Ashton was gay, and annoyingly he’d assumed I was as well.

Our “date” conversation revolved around sports and teaching. Never once had he made a move to touch me, nor had I made a move to touch him. But as we’d awkwardly stood in the lot where our cars were parked at the end of the night, he’d made a move.

“I’d like to see you again,” he had said, coming closer to place a hand on my hip. The lot was deserted, no one around. Inches separated our bodies and his lips from mine. I waited for a twinge, a pulse, a spark to hit because of his proximity, but none came. Nothing. Sure, my heart pounded frantically, but that was from fear of someone seeing us. It all felt so wrong. When I stepped away while fumbling with a response, he then asked, “Are you not out?”

“I’m not gay,” I mechanically voiced.

He frowned before nodding slowly. “Gotcha,” he said with a stiff smile. “Sorry I assumed. No hard feelings?”

“Not at all.”

“Okay. Well, it was fun, man. I’ll see you Monday.” I watched him get in his car and drive off, and still I felt nothing that even came close to what I had felt when Ricky had just looked at me.

Why?

Ashton was handsome, fit, intelligent. If anything, I had so much more in common with him than Ricky. Apparently, my libido didn’t care. It was Ricky who dominated my thoughts. My sexual fantasies of late had all revolved around that walking Ken doll. In them, we never went beyond groping or kissing, but the evidence in my hardened dick had left no doubt he turned me the fuck on.

“I know!” Riana’s big brown eyes widened. “You should call Dr. Lair.”

“Wait…” I blinked blankly. “The rock star is a doctor now?”

“No, that’s his cousin, Jack Lair.”

I slowly chewed a mouthful of burger before asking, “Then who the fuck is Dr. Lair?”

She lowered her fork and blinked at me a few times. “Have you lived under a rock? He’s a