Upside Down (Breaking the Rules #3) - A.M. Madden Page 0,13

she voiced sadly, ignoring my plea. “I worry about you, Cooper. You’re always so focused on others, you neglect yourself. You deserve to be in love.”

One would think. Between my career choice, and the successful relationships that surrounded me, it shouldn’t be this hard to find happiness. But my entire life I felt like the black sheep in my family. Not because of anything they did to alienate me—more so because I never felt as though I fit in.

As hazel eyes exact to mine watched me with compassion, I pulled her into my arms and kissed the top of her head. “I will be… someday,” I admitted, knowing I had probably just lied to my mother.

Chapter Five

Ricky

“Mr. Burrows, can I get you a drink?”

“No, Bonnie. I’m fine, thank you.” As she began to step away, I asked, “But can you please get Mr. Stanton a Modelo?”

“Which Mr. Stanton?”

I chuckled at the obvious question, since there were four of them present. “Sorry. Cooper.”

“Of course.” Bonnie headed to the bar for the imported beer Cooper loved and then delivered it to him with a smile. He thanked her, immediately taking a long sip, seeming pleased she appeared to have read his mind.

I continued to watch him among his family while he sported a constant smile—one hand casually tucked into the front pocket of his navy linen shorts, the other gripping the bottle, all the while oblivious to Bonnie’s lingering stare. In fact, many of our female staff appreciated his height, his perfect physique, his sexy smile, proved by their longing glances whenever he’d pay even a moment’s attention to them.

Cooper Stanton appeared to play the role of casual, laid-back English lit professor without a care in the world. But those hazel eyes of his told an entirely different story. I rarely had been wrong about these things. Probably because it was the same story that once haunted me… kind of.

Like Cooper, I’d been in denial… but the difference was I’d recognized my true self as a teenager. It must have been exhausting living a lie well into his adult years. Constantly disillusioned by romance and what it was supposed to look like. Although I was young, I’d drunk the Kool-Aid. Thought that way was the only way, and because of it, I’d shamefully hidden my reality. And I’d hidden it pretty damn well until I’d met Corey Hamel during my freshman year at Indiana University.

At first, I believed we shared a great connection… a brother I never had. Our friendship was instant and consuming. He was there for me, and I was there for him.

It wasn’t until we decided to share an apartment sophomore year that my feelings toward Corey began to subtly shift. Even though we both grew up close to our college, we agreed living on campus would enhance our experience. Once roommates, I could no longer deny my attraction toward him. Knowing he didn’t feel the same hurt more than I had wanted to admit.

It was my damn fault, because Corey was straight. He proved that much by fucking a different girl every weekend. But whenever we were alone, his lingering stares mimicked mine. He seemed to enjoy walking around the apartment half-naked. His hand would linger on my shoulder. His eyes would focus on my mouth when I spoke. He also seemed to enjoy my reaction each time he crossed a line… the biggest one being when he kissed me.

Finally.

Corey even joined me when I went home for Thanksgiving. I’d never forget the swell of hope that had engulfed me when he accepted my invite. That weekend I envisioned Christmas, New Year’s, my birthday all celebrated with Corey at my side. I didn’t voice what Corey was to me, and my mother kept it very cool, treating him no differently than a buddy I’d grown up with. Nothing happened between us, and it appeared we were no more than friends. Still, having him in my home had been a monumental development in our relationship.

The following weekend, at a friend’s party, the first red flag appeared when Corey acted as if he barely knew me.

I understood. He wasn’t ready to come out. I had only done so to my mother a few years before, and that was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do. Funny, though, the more he hid it from the outside world, the more he seemed to submit to his desires when we were alone.

And then, a week after Thanksgiving, we turned a corner. Slowly,