Upside Down (Breaking the Rules #3) - A.M. Madden Page 0,1

served as a cattle prod to my cowardice. She deserved better than me. She deserved to be worshiped and revered. She deserved the truth.

“Ree, I don’t want you to think these past ten months have been anything other than amazing. You are an exceptional woman, and I wouldn’t trade one minute I spent with you for anything in the world.” I studied her expression before saying what I should’ve said well before tonight. “But you’re right. I’m not there… and I can’t ask you to wait for me to get there—” An audible swallow came in place of the words. I pushed past the discomfort and added, “Because I don’t know if I ever will.”

Remarkably, a newfound resolve altered her defeated expression. It almost felt like my admission served as a balm she’d been waiting for. Maybe not what she wanted to hear, but what she needed to hear.

“Thank you for being honest,” she finally said with a small smile. “I want the best for you, Coop. I want you to be happy.” Her smile cracked a bit wider. “I also want it to be with me, but I think—” The dangling sentence came with a forced laugh. “Well, that’s neither here nor there.”

“What?” I asked, turning my hand to bring our touch palm to palm.

“I’m not sure you know what it would take to be happy.” She stared into my eyes with a strained smile. “I’m sorry… that’s not fair of me to say—”

My responding chuckle was just as strained. “You’re right, Ree. I’m not sure either.” I gripped her fingers tighter and shrugged. “So now what?”

“Well, now we part ways—as friends, I hope.”

“Of course, always.”

She pulled her hand away and lifted her fork. But just before she took her first bite of the now-lukewarm salmon, I asked, “Stupid question. Are you coming to my brother’s wedding?” We were scheduled to fly down to Fort Lauderdale a week from now after she returned from her trip to Chicago.

Based on the last family function she’d attended, Sam and Lydia’s engagement party, innocent questions of when we would take the leap, or speculations if we were next in line, served only to embarrass us in different ways. Why would she subject herself to more torture, especially now?

Another small smile lifted the corners of her pretty pink lips. “I think it’s best I don’t come,” she said, voicing what I knew she would. My family adored her, and not having any family at all to speak of meant Riana had embraced their acceptance with open arms.

I hated this. I hated causing her more hurt in her life.

Taking her hand once again, I pressed my lips against her soft skin before giving her a sad smile. “You’re amazing, Ree. I mean it.”

For the first time since we’d sat at the small romantic table set for two, her eyes sparkled with humor. “I know I am,” she quipped, causing us to laugh.

The rest of the evening progressed no differently than any other dinner we’d shared. We talked about our jobs, the weather, her neighbor’s dog, Cosmo, and how he despised me.

I’d miss our time together. Ours might not have been the epic love story that every human on earth deserved to experience at least once in their lives… but we shared a solid connection that would be hard to sever.

“Thank you. Enjoy your break,” I said for the thousandth time that day. As each student filed past my desk to hand in their midterm papers, I counted down the minutes until the day was over and winter break began. After the week I’d had, this break had come at a good time.

My school schedule had been a factor when my brother and his fiancée had planned their wedding. For the next five days, Sam and Lydia’s closest family and friends would embark on a wedding cruise to the Bahamas.

I needed this trip and looked forward to having my family in one place at the same time. With five kids, it was hard for our parents to corral us and the grandkids, especially when we had scattered across the country.

But remembering I had to explain Riana’s absence had cast a gray cloud over my excitement. I’d been thinking about her often since last Saturday, wondering if I’d given up too quickly or should’ve fought harder and insisted that we stay together. I couldn’t seem to come up with a suitable argument except that I didn’t want to hurt her. And that wasn’t a reason to