Until Her - Ami Van Page 0,79
about Ariana. We can walk away from all of this if we’re going to get shut out anyway. You don’t have to stick to the arrangement. We have enough money to take us anywhere in the world.”
“You think Romano is going to let us walk away that easily? Or Mazzilli?” Chase asks. “Matteo needs this to go through. I don’t know for sure why yet but I can feel how badly he’ll push for it to happen. And this would be the snub of all fucking snubs if we walk.”
“Stella isn’t going to come back to me anyway.” Derrick’s truth hurts him just as much as the pain of losing Ariana. It’s raw. It’s real. “So, do what you want to do, brother. Take Ariana and leave if you want to. All three of you can leave.”
“You want us to run with our tails tucked between our fucking legs and leave you? Live in hiding and shit?” Chase asks incredulously.
“If it means you all get to be happy with who you love, then yes,” Derrick says everything as if he’s already laid down and died.
The weight of Derrick’s words silences everyone in the room. They aren’t hopeless yet but Derrick didn’t seem to care.
Truth be told, he isn’t sure if he cared either. He’s still thinking about how to earn another moment with Ariana. He’s willing to grovel at this point. There’s no taking back what’s been done but if he can just be granted one more touch. One more kiss. Even another second in her light. It might taper off his craving of her, his addiction.
“I know how you feel now, Derrick.” He can’t even look at his twin. “Stella gives you light. You bathed and basked in it. You craved it and felt cleansed in it. I get your obsession with her now. I used to feel like that around Stella but it was always brief and I knew it was never going to be permanent for me…until Ariana.”
Derrick pulls his knees up and leans his head back against the couch. Defeated. Derrick looks completely and utterly defeated.
“I’m sorry I cost you that,” he apologizes to his brother.
His arrogance cost both of them to lose the one thing they never knew they needed. He used to think he’s the smartest of his brothers but he’d been outsmarted by pussy. He doesn’t know how to handle that fact. He doesn’t know what, if anything, he can do to make this right again.
“We fucked up, Adam. Not just you.”
Derrick closes his eyes and he wishes his brother would just succumb to sleep. Maybe Derrick’s mind would be clearer with some rest and a brief pause in the alcohol.
“Boss,” Mason calls out again. “Stella’s calling.”
Derrick is up and stumbling his way over to Mason, grabbing the phone as soon as he gets there.
“Baby, I’m here,” Derrick says into the phone.
It doesn’t seem like he gets a chance to say anything more because his head slumps between his shoulders and he’s already pulling the phone away from his ear not even a minute after.
“What did she say?” Rory asks first.
“She…she just said I have sixteen hours to clean myself up,” Derrick answers. “That’s it.”
“Shit,” Chase whispers.
“Does she know you love her?” Derrick asks, breaking into the silence as they patiently wait for whatever it is Stella has waiting for them.
Derrick seems to think he’ll be served divorce papers even though it’s well past regular office hours. The sun has long set hours ago. And frankly, that’s not Stella’s style.
“I never got the chance to tell her,” he confesses to Derrick.
He never got the chance to admit it to himself either. It’s not like he’s had a lot of practice when it comes to speaking about his emotions. With four brothers, a mother who died when he’d barely had a chance to become a man, and an irresponsible father, Jazzy was the only one he’d been able to express his love to.
“You didn’t take your own advice. The same one you once gave me,” Derrick says to him. “Next thing you’re going to say is ‘she knows’, right?”
“So your memory is starting to come back?”
“Just puzzle pieces,” Derrick mumbles.
“Ariana should know,” he answers. “With her, things don’t need to be said. We communicate through our actions. No matter how subtle. I mean, look at her with Jazzy. How can I not…”
“Love her,” Derrick finishes. “You can say it. As you said, women still need to be told. You should tell her,” Derrick says.
“If