Until Amy - Jessica Ames Page 0,52
my life. It’s the reality of what can happen. It’s not all the time, but shootings, stabbings, they are par for the course. This is my life. Never expected to have someone I care about, who I would die for before I let get hurt. Never expected to have that, babe. I’ll always keep you safe. I promise you that. Club life won’t ever touch you.”
He sounds so sincere, so sure, it’s hard not to believe his words.
“I am scared,” I admit.
“I know, but there’s no reason to be.”
“Shane, your club is dangerous. I didn’t really believe that until tonight.”
“Yeah, there are dangerous elements. Babe, you don’t need to worry.”
Telling me not to worry feels rather redundant, since I already am.
“Whizz.” Omen’s voice breaks through the moment.
“Fuck, I need to go, babe. Promise me you won’t run out or leave.”
“I promise. I’ll sit with Havoc.”
He kisses me. “Thank you.”
I watch him walk off with Omen, my heart starting to pound. I don’t go straight back to the common room. Instead, I head out to the courtyard, a small enclosed area off the main corridor. There are no brothers here, which is a relief. I don’t have the strength to talk to any of them right now and pretend things are okay.
I sit on the nearest picnic bench, letting the fresh air clear away some of the fear circling me.
I pull my phone out and dial the one person I know will understand. Harmony. She picks up on the second ring.
“I was wondering where you were. I haven’t heard from you in a while. Give me all the gossip.”
“I just patched up a man who was shot, on the pool table in the common room,” I blurt.
There’s a long pause then she says, “Having second thoughts?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. I don’t want to walk away, but his lifestyle is crazy.”
“I know July’s had to do some crazy things for Wes, but for the most part, their club life doesn’t touch us. Harlen has always protected me and I’m sure Shane will be the same.”
“He does protect me,” I say, thinking about how he’s been helping me with all this Rick shit. “I’m just worried.”
“I think that’s normal. Do you love him?”
“Yes,” I say without missing a beat.
“Can’t breathe without him?”
“Yes.”
“Then you can work around the lifestyle, Amy. Harlen and I manage it, Wes and July manage it.”
“Are Wes and Harlen bringing gunshot victims around?”
“Not for a while,” is her surprising answer. “Babe, you’ve got the BOOM. No matter what you do, you’ll always end up with him. I was worried when I first started dating Harlen too, but now, I can’t imagine being without him.”
“How do you keep the club stuff and him separate?”
“I don’t. Club is as much a part of him as I am. I accept it. You have to be able to do that with Shane. You have to make peace with this part of his life. It’s dangerous, yes, but what you do is dangerous too. You could be attacked by a patient at any point or a gunman could come into the ER.”
She’s not wrong. I’ve already attracted someone dangerous into my life, someone who Shane isn’t shying away from. He hasn’t run from the danger in my life. He’s run headfirst into it, in fact. He’s done everything he can to protect me, including keeping me at the clubhouse, picking me up from work and making sure I’m safe coming out.
“I’ve never doubted he loves me,” I say quietly.
“That’s all we need in life. To be loved. You can’t change who he is, all you can do is love him as he is. Love him and the rest will fall into place.”
“Thanks for talking me off the ledge.”
“You’ve done it for me more times than I can count.”
“What are friends for?”
I see Shane standing in the doorway and I can’t stop from taking in that well-muscled body. He makes my stomach somersault when he looks at me like I’m his reason for breathing, which is what he’s doing right now.
“I’ve got to go,” I tell Harmony and hang up.
Shane walks over to me and brushes my hair back from my face. “I got worried when I couldn’t find you.”
“Sorry. I needed some fresh air after…” I let my words trail off.
“I get it. It was pretty intense in there.”
It had been. “Havoc still needs a hospital.”
“Yeah, but he won’t go. He won’t risk bringing heat to the club.”
“Even if he might die?”
“Babe, club is