Until Amy - Jessica Ames Page 0,22
all this time, it still haunts me. I flinched when Shane touched me. I haven’t done that in a while now, but it shows me those fears still exist, buried within me. Maybe they’ll always exist. I’ve not been with a man since the incident, and I’m not sure how I’ll handle that. I feel safe with Shane, even though I probably shouldn’t—considering who he is. He’s bossy, but he’s never made me feel like I don’t have a choice in what we’re doing. He’s never pushed me beyond what I’m comfortable with.
That makes things easier to manage. I know I should tell him what happened to me, discuss it like an adult. That’s what I would tell the people in my group to do, but there’s never a good time to bring it up. So far, we’ve only been on a handful of dates, and I’m not sure we’re even at the spilling all your secrets part of our relationship yet.
“I’m so sorry, Amy,” Natalie says, bringing my attention back to her. “Things haven’t gone that far with my boss yet, but I’m worried it will escalate. He’s already pushing things further than he did in the beginning.”
She brushes her hair back from her face and I see the desperation in her eyes as they come to me. I don’t blame her fear. These things can spiral fast. I experienced that first hand. With Dr Hofstadter, it started with him letting me in on interesting cases. Then he’d make out like I owed him a favor for what he did for me. He’d ask me to dinner repeatedly—to talk about work. I never believed that. Then, one day he cornered me and touched me. At the time I was so stunned I couldn’t move. After, I felt sick, disgusted, dirty.
I got together with a few other women he’d harassed and found a lawyer who wasn’t scared of taking on such a big hospital. The case went ahead, even though Hofstadter died. The board had to change members and they lost their CEO after he was forced to step down. I earned the title of troublemaker for leading that. Harmony couldn’t stand it after what happened to her. She resigned just a few days after she got out of the hospital after Hofstadter’s attack. For a long time, I hated that he escaped justice by dying for a long time, but I’m slowly making my peace with it. At least he can’t hurt any other women now.
“I don’t know what to do to stop it.” She nibbles on her bottom lip and my heart sinks. I’ve been her: scared, unsure, helpless. I want her to know she’s not alone in this fight.
I give her a reassuring smile. “There’s a few things we can do. Firstly, you need to start keeping a diary of every incident, every time he makes you uncomfortable or says something inappropriate. In the meantime, I’ll help you to file a complaint and I can come with you to see your HR manager when you get a meeting, if you want me there.”
She gives me a nervous smile. “Thank you. I have the forms with me to file a complaint. I just have to fill them in.”
“I can help you with that too.”
Natalie glances down at her hands. “I never did anything to encourage him.”
“I know.”
“I can handle the innuendo and flirting. It’s the seemingly innocent touches that make me doubt my sanity.”
“If it makes you uncomfortable, they’re not innocent,” I tell her.
“I’m glad I came here. I was worried, I won’t lie.”
“It’s important to stand up to this man. Let him know you’re not going to allow his behavior to continue. I have to start the meeting now, but after we’re done, come and find me and we’ll fill in your form.”
“Thanks.”
“You’ll get through this,” I say. “I promise.”
Natalie smiles at me and heads off to find a seat as I start the meeting.
“Right,” I say, taking my seat. “Who wants to go first?”
I settle into the meeting, listening to story after story of horrifying harassment happening in the workplace and my heart sinks for every single victim. My harasser got some form of justice, even if it wasn’t the justice I wanted to give him.
After the meeting, I help Natalie fill in the forms she needs to and I give her my number, telling her she can call me at any time. The isolation is the worst when this kind of thing is happening. I