Until Alex - J. Nathan Page 0,76
change before stopping over, but I was too messed up to even consider it. I just knew I needed to see Alex. She made everything better.
Before she returned and found me in all my glory, I slipped on the dry shorts and slid under the covers. The massive lump on the back of my head throbbed like a son of a bitch against her pillows. No way I’d be able to sleep lying on it, so I turned on my side toward the center of the bed and waited.
The minutes ticked by and Alex hadn’t returned.
Had I misread the entire situation? Did she plan to stay on the sofa?
The more time I lay there alone, the faster the darkness crept in. With each blink of my eyes I saw them. The two men on the floor. The blood. The satisfaction on Remy’s face.
My heart began to race and my palms began to sweat.
What the fuck?
Was I having a panic attack?
The bedroom door pushed opened and a sliver of light crept in. Alex slipped inside with another candle, wearing tiny cotton shorts and a tight tank top. Her eyes met mine for a split second before she moved to the opposite side of the bed.
My heartbeat slowed. How quickly everything else was forgotten whenever she entered a room.
She placed the candle on her nightstand. Then slipped under the covers and moved closer to me. We lay there eye to eye for a long time, just breathing each other in. Savoring each other’s presence. Savoring the silence.
Alex lifted her hand and ran her fingers through the back of my hair, brushing them lightly over the lump, so gentle and calming, like a mother’s hand on a child. She had the ability to lull me to sleep. But sleep would only lead to more nightmares.
“Feels like it’s gone down a little.”
I nodded, inhaling her just-brushed minty breath.
“Do you want more ice?”
No way I’d let her leave me again. Not with her fingers in my hair. Not with her needing to take care of me. Not with the demons lurking when she left me alone. So I shook my head, careful not to irritate the swelling.
She pulled her hand away, tucking it with the other under her pillow. She looked me straight in the eyes. “What happened?”
I closed my eyes, trying to find the words. I had promised no more secrets. But where did I begin? Where did I end? I wished she would’ve given me a little more time.
Alex sighed. “Never mind.”
My eyes snapped open. “No. I need to do this.”
She stared back at me with doe eyes.
Jesus. She was so damn innocent. In seconds that would all be shattered if I told her the truth. Told her the evil things I was capable of. But I promised. And I intended to keep my promises. “I work for a bookie.”
Alex didn’t even blink. She just nodded, encouraging me to continue.
I blew out a shaky breath. “When he doesn’t get paid, Remy and I are sent to collect his money.”
“Okay. So why the broken ribs and massive lump? Aren’t you any good?”
My lips turned up in the corners. Was she seriously making a joke about it? “I’m okay.”
She arched a brow. “Mediocre?”
“Yeah, mediocre.”
She was trying to make it easier on me. No one had done that in a long time. But I had more to share, so my grin faded.
“These guys we deal with, these guys who don’t pay up, they’re scum. They have no desire to pay. They don’t see the urgency. So, our visits are rarely friendly.”
“Have you ever used a gun?” she asked without blinking.
Way to go right for the heavy stuff, Alex. “I’ve never pulled a trigger.”
“Have you ever seriously hurt someone?”
I nodded.
“How bad?”
“Can I just say bad and leave it at that? At least for tonight?”
She nodded, though the disappointment in her eyes was hard to miss. “What happened tonight?”
I inhaled, letting the giant sigh glide though my nose. “I had a gun aimed at my head. When the guy pulled the trigger, the chamber was either empty or the gun jammed.”
She gasped at the same time her hands flew up and cupped my cheeks. Her fingers shook as they ran over my features, delicate and slow. She must’ve been thinking the same thing as me. How the hell are you here right now?
Her fingertips trailed over my skin. From my unshaven cheeks and chin to my lips, over the scar on the bridge of my nose to my