Until Alex - J. Nathan Page 0,36

separated by light blue curtains. “How’d you know?”

The nurse turned to me with a knowing smile. “A guy like you buys a girl a rock, which she wasn’t wearing. And he doesn’t let her out of his sight. If you were engaged, she never would’ve been away from you tonight.”

I nodded because she nailed it. I protected what was mine.

And in some part of my messed up brain, I thought staying away from Alex would protect her. From me. From my secrets. From my job. From my fucked-up life.

The nurse stopped and pulled back a curtain on the right. Inside, Alex looked so small tucked under the blankets in the hospital bed. Her dark curls were a stark contrast to the white pillowcase and sheets concealing her partially reclined body.

To an outsider she appeared to be sleeping peacefully. With her insomnia, being unconscious might’ve been a blessing in disguise. As long as when she awoke, she remained the sweet sarcastic girl I’d come to know.

I sat down in the faux leather chair beside the bed, pulling it right up to Alex’s side. Reaching underneath the sheet, I grabbed hold of her hand. Warmth had returned to it. Thank God.

I should have released it. I knew I should have. But instead my thumb traced small circles over her delicate knuckles. I wasn’t sure who I needed to soothe more, her or me. But I didn’t stop. I couldn’t.

I examined the platinum band on her middle finger. The one surrounded by small diamonds. The one she toyed with on our way to Jake’s.

I took inventory of the private area around us. Wires and tubes from numerous monitors and machines ran under Alex’s sheets. A drip bag attached to an IV had been inserted into the back of her right hand, pumping her full of fluids.

I closed my eyes for a long moment. How had this happened? What had she done to deserve it?

That was the messed up thing about life. It hurt people who didn’t deserve it and let screw-ups like me exist. Let us live out our shitty existences.

As the minutes crept by, the sterile hospital smell brought on a throbbing headache. The monotonous beeping of machines gradually drove my already anxious mind reeling. And if another nurse poked her head in and didn’t have test results, I’d go batshit crazy.

Thoughts of what might’ve happened to Alex messed with my head, creating images I didn’t want to consider. I lifted her hand to my lips and pressed them softly to her smooth skin. “You’re going to be okay, beautiful. I’ll make sure of it.”

I lowered her hand, grasping it between both of mine, concealing it entirely. It was so tiny. A blatant reminder of how fragile she really was. Not only physically, but emotionally.

She hadn’t explained the days of crying on the picnic table. Her difficulty sleeping. The reason she’d moved across the state to live with her aunt. But that’s what I got for pushing her away when we were just getting to know each other.

As time ticked by, and morning transformed to afternoon, exhaustion overtook my body. I’d been up for over twenty-four hours. And my heavy eyelids weren’t going to stay open much longer—no matter how hard I tried to keep them that way.

I leaned forward, resting my forehead on our joined hands on the side of the bed. Maybe I could recharge if I just rested my eyes for a few minutes.

The beeping of the machines, once annoying as hell, lulled my exhausted body and mind into a much needed sleep.

* * *

“My hand’s asleep,” Alex whispered.

My head shot up, my eyes blinking repeatedly, trying to push away the sleep commanding me. The humming machines and sterile smell yanked me back to reality.

Alex lay in front of me, her eyes cracked open. She wiggled her tiny hand still in my grip.

I immediately released it. “Sorry.”

“What’s going on?” she asked, raspy and barely audible.

My breath left me in a hiss. Terrified to tell her the truth, I jumped to my feet. “I’ll go get the doctor.”

“Please, Hayden.” Her sad eyes pleaded with me. “I want you to tell me.”

I paused between her and the chair, hating the position I found myself in. But if there was ever a time to man up, this was it. I dropped back down into the seat and grasped my knees. “What do you remember about last night?”

As if needing all her strength to recall, Alex squeezed her eyes shut. “I went to