Until Alex - J. Nathan Page 0,116

I didn’t get it. I wasn’t scared anymore. I wanted her to know how I felt. What I thought. What I wanted. Frankly, I just needed her to wake up so I could tell her to her face.

“And by the way, I want kids. Lots of them. Like a whole soccer team of them running around with their mother’s brown hair and green eyes.”

I pressed my lips to her hand, keeping my eyes from venturing to the darkened rope burns around her wrists. “And they better have my dimples. Girls love the dimples.”

I could hardly look at her swollen and discolored face without breaking down. It took every ounce of strength I had to sit there and talk to her like the whole situation wasn’t my fault. From Taylor to Remy, none of it would have happened if she hadn’t met me. If I hadn’t approached her.

Maybe she wouldn’t even want anything to do with me when she woke up. Maybe she couldn’t forgive me. Maybe I caused her too much grief. Too much pain. Too much sorrow. Like Remy had for me.

The waterworks began yet again. I couldn’t control them. I was consumed by guilt. Consumed by anger. Consumed by the fear of what she must think of me. “I’m so sorry this happened to you, Alex. I’m so damn sorry.”

I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. How could Remy ever put a hand to her? Keep her tied up? Starve her? The thoughts were too inconceivable. I always believed him to be a threat to our happiness, always having such a strong hold over me. But never could I have imagined he’d do something so sadistic to the girl I loved.

Alex’s hand twitched in mine.

My head shot up.

I leaned in closer, still grasping her hand like I’d ceased to exist without it. “Alex. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Her eyelashes fluttered.

“Open those pretty eyes. Let me see them.”

Her doctor said dreams caused the eye movement. I hoped whatever she dreamt about was peaceful. Like a vision of her parents. Not a nightmare about Remy. She already lived that.

I exhaled a disappointed breath. I knew I needed to be patient, but patience sucked.

“Okay, so I know you’re probably sick of this story, but it’s the best one I’ve got. Besides, you are the one who’s always fishing.” I pressed my lips to her hand for a long moment wishing she’d just put me out of my misery and wake up.

A giant multi-colored balloon embossed with Get Well shifted below the air vent as I thought back to the first day we met.

“It was late August when the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen stepped into my life. She was this little thing driving a killer car and carrying a huge suitcase. Even back then, I knew she was out of my league. So I waited four long days before I worked up the nerve to talk to her.”

I kissed her hand again, but when I looked back to her face, her lashes had stopped fluttering.

My shoulders dropped on a sigh. But I wouldn’t give up. Not when she needed me.

“I know what you’re thinking. How could I, God’s gift to women, be nervous to talk to a girl? But I was. I was terrified. She wasn’t like the others. She was sweet and innocent and sad. So damn sad. And don’t ask me why, but I wanted to make it all stop. I needed to.”

I ran my free hand through my hair, trying like hell not to focus on the bruises and swelling covering her face.

“When I finally talked to her, she blew my mind. She was exactly what I’d been waiting for. Beautiful, funny, sarcastic, stubborn. So stubborn. And even though I fought to keep her away, she wouldn’t let me. She wormed her way into my life. My head. My heart. Eventually, I had to stop fighting it. And when I did, when I let her in, let her know my demons, I knew I’d found my match. My perfect match.”

Tears fell from my eyes so freely it should’ve been disconcerting.

“By her birthday, I was a goner. So far gone it wasn’t even funny. She thought she was the only one experiencing something for the first time that night. But she was wrong. I was getting to experience something, too. An all-consuming, rip-your-heart-out-of-your-chest-if-you-were-rejected, kind of love. And once it hit me, once I could plainly see that’s what we had, I knew I’d do anything