Until Alex - J. Nathan Page 0,113

about me, so he kicked him in the head until he took his last breath. After you scaled the wall.”

My head spun with images of that night. I’d been there. I’d seen him with my own eyes. Hadn’t I?

Jesus Christ.

All this fucking time.

All the guilt I lived with.

All the choices I made because of it.

“I never understood why Remy wanted you to believe you did it.”

Anger welled inside of me, deep and fiery. I scrubbed my palms over my face. “So he could hold on to me,” I hissed. “So he’d have my unwavering loyalty.”

“I’m sorry. I should’ve told you sooner.”

I nodded, my mind still whirling.

“In our world, respect is key. You’ve earned mine ten-fold.” He patted me on the back and stood up. “You’ve still got a job if you want one. But I won’t stand in your way if you don’t after what I’ve kept quiet about.”

I watched speechlessly as Cooper walked to my door and stopped.

He turned back with repentant eyes. “Remy made bail.”

ALEX

Being tethered in the same spot for days had turned my body cold and limbs numb. My heartbeat had slowed to a distant thumping. My breathing was labored. And my cotton mouth barely opened.

I couldn’t understand why Remy didn’t just kill me. I guess he wanted me to die a slow death. Torture me for stealing his best friend. Drive me completely insane.

Hallucinations had taken over my reality. Dreams mixed with my nightmares. I often mistook Remy for Hayden. In those brief moments, I attempted to smile or speak. Until being tugged from my delusion when he opened his mouth.

Everything was so hazy.

So distant.

So dark.

In the beginning I tried to stay awake. I didn’t try anymore. I found it easier to drift off to a place where visions of Hayden kept me safe. His smiling face when I fished for compliments. His strong arms when he wouldn’t let me go in the middle of the night. His dimples when he smiled. His vulnerability only I got to see.

Those images kept me sane in the midst of my darkest hours.

I was close. So close to no longer existing. So close to joining my parents. Preston’s parents. Hayden’s mom. Victor. I could feel it with every fiber of my being. Hopefully, I’d fade away the same way I’d spent most of my last hours. Unconscious.

Pound. Pound.

My ears perked at the distant sound. Was someone building a house nearby? Hayden would be good at construction, so strong and talented with his hands. I wondered if he found a job. Anything to keep him away from Remy and the evil life he lived.

Pound. Pound.

Maybe it was a kid playing basketball. Hayden mentioned he’d played when he was younger. He also dispelled the rumor about boxing, but thought it was a good cover for when he got blindsided on the job.

Pound. Pound.

Was the noise solely in my head? Because if so, why was it becoming increasingly louder?

Clearer?

Closer?

There was no use trying to lift my head. Remy was probably in a drunken stupor again. I wouldn’t use my last bit of energy on him. He wouldn’t get that.

A door thrust open rattling the wall behind it.

“Oh my God, Alex.”

My Hayden dream again.

“I’m here, baby, I’m right here,” his rushed voice promised.

His hands always went to work on the ropes around my ankles first. He’d get to my hands after I lifted my head and we exchanged a tear-filled exchange.

Hallucinations could be so cruel. Because each time I came to and realized it wasn’t real, devastation hit and the nightmare I found myself in was actually reality.

“I’m here. I’ve got you. You’re gonna be okay. I swear to you, you’re gonna be okay.”

Even in my hallucinations Hayden soothed me. Protected me. Saved me. Who knew the mind could be so callous?

My eyes remained closed. I wasn’t foolish enough to believe the mirage, even if I did allow myself to indulge for a little while.

“I found Alex. She’s at Remy’s on Ocean Road.”

Hayden calling in my whereabouts always ended my dream. It was the painful moment I discovered it really wasn’t him. The moment I discovered without a shadow of a doubt, I was completely alone. Secured to a chair. Surrounded by darkness.

“Step back,” Remy’s voice ripped through my delusions like a vicious tornado. Always destroying my dreams.

HAYDEN

My head flew up from where I crouched at Alex’s feet, attempting to untie the ropes. Ropes. My beautiful girl was tied up in fucking ropes. The sight of her almost unrecognizable face, so bruised