Until Alex - J. Nathan Page 0,11

the perfect spot in the back.

As I spread my comforter on the dry grass, tears prickled the backs of my eyes.

Here we go again.

I sat down, running my hand over the worn fabric beneath me. It had accompanied me to star-filled nights on the beach with my ex Preston. To concerts in the park with my girlfriends. To football games on cold December nights with my parents. Avoiding the memories was impossible. My mind rendered me helpless. I was an unwilling participant. A slave to whatever images invaded my mind.

Sure, those were good memories, but they still wounded me just as deeply as the bad ones. They were now part of my past. Part of a time that would never be recaptured.

I fell back onto the comforter and draped my arm across my eyes. I needed a moment to compartmentalize. To keep my parents, Preston, and my friends out of my head. It wasn’t like I wanted to forget them since leaving Austin. I just needed them to take a vacation from my thoughts for a while. How else could I pick up the pieces and move forward?

The movie began with applause from the residents. Although my arm covered my eyes, I could hear the actors’ voices. Fantastic. The comedy I’d seen with Preston last year.

A soft rustling moments later caused me to lift my arm and crack open my eyes.

Hayden sat beside me on my comforter, holding a bag of microwave popcorn. He lifted his chin to the movie projected on the side of the building. “You’re gonna miss it if you don’t sit up.” He tossed a handful of popcorn into his mouth like watching a movie with me was the most normal thing in the world.

“I’ve already seen it.”

His voice dropped to a lower register. “Not with me you haven’t.”

Tiny tingles fluttered in my belly. He definitely had me there.

Feeling foolish laying there while he hovered beside me, I pushed myself up. My head spun for a moment as the blood flowed down. Hayden’s lips twitched, probably assuming his presence brought on the lightheadedness.

I reached over and snatched a handful of popcorn from his bag, popping one piece into my mouth at a time. “Extra butter? Nice.”

Hayden grinned. In sank the dimples. Seriously? What girl could resist dimples?

He turned back to the movie, laughing at the scene unfolding between the main characters.

I couldn’t help but be drawn to the hearty sound of his laughter. It was so refreshing. So real.

“Was it this funny the first time?”

Truthfully, I couldn’t remember laughing at all. Probably because I hadn’t. Laughing at the raunchy parts would’ve made Preston think I was immature.

Strange.

I hadn’t realized I worried about things like that before.

“Too busy sucking face with the quarterback in the back row?” Hayden asked, interrupting my small epiphany.

“Actually it was the middle. The back row is so cliché.”

A swoon-worthy smile flashed across his face. I wondered if he knew he even possessed a swoon-worthy smile. Or how accurate he’d been about Preston being the quarterback at UT and us making out in the dark movie theater.

Thankfully, that’s all we’d ever done. I could say that now because we weren’t together. Back then, it sucked. Most times it’s the boyfriend pressuring the girlfriend to give it up. In my situation, it was me pressuring Preston. He came from a very religious family, one that brainwashed him into believing waiting until marriage was the norm. My response to that had always been On what planet?

An hour into the movie, exhaustion seeped in. I knew those laps in the pool—and unexpected races with Hayden—would pay off. My heavy eyelids sank to nothing more than a tiny slit, making it impossible to stay awake.

I reclined on the comforter, linking my hands behind my head and closing my eyes for a brief moment.

Before I knew it, silence surrounded me and I drifted off into a much-needed slumber.

* * *

A cool breeze drifted over me, prickling the skin on my face and the wisps of hair on my arms. The sounds of the movie had been replaced by chirping crickets and the hum of a distant car buzzing by. I wondered how long I’d been out.

Reluctantly, I opened my eyes. Darkness surrounded me. The moon and stars speckling the ebony sky provided the only source of light.

I jolted up, my eyes scanning the empty lawn and building cloaked in blackness.

I glanced down beside me. Ease instantly settled in. Hayden slept peacefully on his side facing me. Moonlight cast