Untamed - A. G. Howard Page 0,68
but once we do, he drags something from under his pillow and holds it out to me: a white rose . . . crushed and slightly withered, but the most beautiful flower I’ve ever seen.
Taking it with a shaky hand, I hold it to my nose. “Where . . . how?”
“I still have a few cards up my sleeve, skater girl.”
I try to laugh, but it turns into a sob.
He strokes my cheek. “Shh. Did you bring my wish?”
I drag it out of my pocket, fighting back more tears.
He closes his hand over mine. “Come on, now. I’ve waited so long to use it. This is the something of consequence. No one needs to suffer through my illness.”
“Least of all you,” I whisper on the edge of tearing up again. “But you could use it to be cured and live a little longer. At least long enough to see Alisia start kindergarten. Magic can work miracles.”
His finger traces invisible lines around my eyes where my netherling markings lie in wait. “You were the only miracle I ever needed. You’ve always blamed yourself on some level, for me losing my muse. But don’t you see? I never lost anything. You are my muse. Even with my creativity gone, you stayed by my side and were always there, inspiring me to be the man I wanted to be. Because of you, I’m leaving behind a legacy. A well-adjusted and happy family who will carry on our memories and traditions. That’s how I’ll live forever, Al. No mortal man could ask for anything more.”
Tears stream hot down my face. It hurts to breathe. If I didn’t know it was impossible, I’d think my heart was breaking.
“As for Alisia and Scotty, we both know that the older they are when I go, the harder it will be for them. We also knew it would come to this one day. That one of us would end up going where the other couldn’t follow—either way. There was no escaping that. Because we’re from different worlds. Magic can’t make me into someone I’m not. I’m human. Death is part of who I am. But it’s not part of you. You have another life waiting. I’ve had all I ever dreamed of. Because he stood back. Now it’s his time.”
Deep inside, I know he’s right. But to imagine never being able to see Jeb again . . . to never hold his hand . . . to never laugh with him—it cuts me to the core.
“I’m scared for you.” It’s a lie, because it’s me I’m scared for. Facing this much pain alone is paralyzing. “How can you be so sure . . . so calm?”
He presses our foreheads together so all we can see is each other’s eyes. “Because wherever I’m going on this new journey, I get to go peacefully. I have the easiest walk of all. You’re the one who has to stay behind and comfort those who’re still here.”
The pressure builds in my throat. I want to be furious with him for leaving. But all I feel is love and admiration. I can’t even imagine closing my eyes forever . . . facing the unknown. He’s so much braver than I could ever hope to be.
I bury my face in the blankets covering his chest, weeping. “Morpheus once told me it would be harder than I thought . . . I didn’t want to believe him. I thought . . . I thought I was stronger than this.”
Jeb tenderly wiggles the bun at the nape of my neck. “You are. You’re Alyssa Victoria Gardner, the girl who broke through stone with a feather and crossed a forest in one step. You held an ocean in your palm, you changed the future with a fingertip. You—”
“We defeated an invisible enemy with Tumtum berries,” I interrupt, looking up through my tears. “We trampled an army beneath our feet. It was us together meeting those tests head-on.” My voice cracks.
“But it was you alone who woke the dead, and harnessed the power of a smile. You alone who defeated Red and all of AnyElsewhere. You who earned the crown.” Jeb’s voice is husky with emotion. “A magical kingdom is waiting for your reign. You’ve just suppressed that side of you for so many years to belong here, you’ve forgotten what you can be when it’s fully unleashed. It’s time to remember. To never forget again.” He catches my face and presses my mouth to his in the