Unraveling (Second Chances) - By Micalea Smeltzer Page 0,60
Dan taught me that there are other ways to deal with anger.”
“By fighting,” I whispered.
“No,” he said, “he taught me more ways than that. It’s about centering yourself and saying you’re going to be better than those that hurt you. I won’t give my father power by letting what he did control me. I won’t let him win, because I am better than him.”
“I’m done letting Preston win,” I said, softly, half terrified to say it out loud.
“Katy,” Jared said, rolling on his side. The shadows of the room cast darkness across half his face, but the other half glowed from the inner light he possessed. He propped his head up on his hand and said, “You stopped letting him win, the minute you told me the truth.”
My lip trembled and I dammed the tears back.
“It’s okay to cry about it, Katy,” he said, “because I will always be here to wipe your eyes.”
“But I don’t want to cry about it,” I sniffled.
“Katy,” he said, quietly, “everybody needs to cry, sometimes. It’s okay.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to be weak.”
“Tears are not a sign of weakness,” Jared said, vehemently. “Tears show compassion, they show,” he pointed to my chest, “that you have a heart. Tears are powerful,” he caught one off of the edge of my cheek.
“Are you sure you’re an MMA fighter and not a literature student?” I asked with a chuckle, wiping my face with the back of my hands.
“I’m sure,” he said, catching a tear I had missed.
I flinched. “Sorry,” I mumbled, “I think I’ve reached my touching quota for the day.”
Jared pulled his hand away with a sad smile. “That’s okay, we’ll take this a day at a time because that’s what you do when you love someone.”
He stood up and stretched, starting towards the door.
“Where are you going?” I sat up a little straighter.
“To sleep on the couch,” he said, his hand on the knob.
“I don’t want you to go.” I hated the pleading tone in my voice, so I took a breath to explain. “Maybe… if you’re here,” I swirled my finger over his comforter in random circles, “I won’t have the nightmares. Maybe, you’ll keep them away.”
“Kitten, there isn’t anything I’d rather do, than keep you from having that nightmare,” his look was sweet. “Do you want to change?” He looked me up and down.
“Huh?” I looked down at myself. “Oh –uh- yeah. Pajamas might be more comfortable than this,” I pulled at my jeans.
He chuckled. “I’m going to go get a bottle of water while you change. I’ll bring you one, too,” he said, disappearing out the door. It closed softly behind him and I scurried off the bed.
I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a cami, so that I wouldn’t have to pull anything over my cast. I glared down at the clunky blue thing, willing it away. It really was quite a nuisance.
A light knock on the door sounded and I shook a little.
I had never slept with a guy before and after what happened with Preston, I hadn’t wanted to. It was difficult to try and get over that.
“I’m decent,” I squeaked.
I heard Jared chuckle and then the door opened.
His eyes zeroed in on my barely covered chest and Goosebumps broke out across my skin. I rubbed my arms and tried to hide my cleavage.
Jared shook his head, pink staining his cheeks and turned his back to me.
He pulled his shirt off, but kept his mesh shorts on. I wondered when he’d changed into them.
He pulled the covers of the bed back and climbed in.
I stood there, staring, like an idiot.
Jared chuckled again. “Katy, if you’re going to sleep, you kind of have to get in the bed.”
“I think this was a bad idea,” I whispered.
He sat up. “I can leave. You say the word and I’m gone. I will never push myself on you, Katy. You can set the pace. Do you understand? You’re in control of us. I’ll never do something that you’re uncomfortable with. All we’ll do is sleep, but if you’re uncomfortable with that, I’ll leave.”
“No, no,” I shook my head. “I know you won’t hurt me. This is okay.” I moved to the other side of the bed.
I lay down and Jared pulled the covers up to my chin. They were cool against my skin and I shivered.
“Katy?” Jared questioned. “Are you okay?”
“I think so,” my voice quivered.
“I don’t want to do anything that will send you running,” he whispered.