Unraveling (Second Chances) - By Micalea Smeltzer Page 0,56
Jared, I wanted him to know. I wanted him to see my scars, because they were a part of me and if I was going to fall for him, and he for me, he deserved the truth and nothing less. He deserved my heart and soul, at least the pieces that were left of them.
I crossed my legs, Indian style, and grabbed one of Jared’s pillows, plopping it in my lap.
“It happened two years ago,” I swallowed, “when I was dating my boyfriend, Preston.”
Jared startled at the name. “So, Preston was your boyfriend?”
“Was, being the key word,” I smiled, glumly. “It was our senior year of high school, we had been dating since we were freshman and had known each other our entire lives. I was a cheerleader, and he was the quarterback on the football team. So, cliché, I know,” I met Jared’s thoughtful gaze. “But I was happy. I thought we’d get married after high school and I’d follow him to college,” I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“But that didn’t happen,” Jared supplied.
“No,” I shook my head, the tears coming again.
Jared scooted closer. “Katy,” he said slowly, like he didn’t want to frighten me. “Can I… Can I hold you?”
At first, the thought of letting him touch me that way, to let him hold me, was frightening. But this was Jared. Somehow, I knew that he would never hurt me the way Preston had or any other physical way, Jared did, however, have the power to break my insides apart and tear me to pieces if he decided I wasn’t what he wanted.
I nodded and was gently enveloped into Jared’s arms. He was careful of my ribs, laying us back, flat on the bed. He cradled me to his chest and wiped my tears away.
Without him prompting me, I continued, “He texted me one day and wanted to come over, which wasn’t unusual. I told him that was fine. I left the door unlocked and he came inside. I thought everything was fine. He wanted to go upstairs and I was cool with that. We always went up to my room to kiss.” The tears threatened to choke me, and Jared carefully wiped them from my cheeks. “But today was different, he wanted more. I told him to stop, I begged him, but he wouldn’t listen. I punched him, I scratched him, bit him, kicked him, you name it, I tried it. But he was too big and too strong and he wouldn’t take no for an answer.” I dissolved into tears, rubbing my face into Jared’s shirt, like I could burrow inside him, never to return.
“Oh, Katy,” he choked. “I- I- I don’t know what to say.”
Trembling, I said, “I was a virgin, when he left, and after I had washed myself for an hour straight, I came back to my room. I know girls bleed the first time, some more than others, but there was too much. It wasn’t normal. I stripped my bed of the sheets and threw them away, but there was still a stain on the mattress. I got the bleach and I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. But it wasn’t enough. Nothing could erase what happened. I kept seeing it replay in my mind. My phone started ringing and it was him! He just kept calling, so finally I took my phone and threw it against the wall. I watched it smash into all these little pieces, just like Preston smashed me.”
“Katy,” Jared said, softly, but I plundered on with my story, now that I was finally telling it, I couldn’t shut myself up.
“My mom came home and I was hysterical. I was screaming at everything and nothing. I burned the sheets and took a knife to my mattress. I wanted to destroy everything he’d touched… including myself. I told her what happened and she didn’t believe me. In fact, she laughed. Laughed at me! She told me that my first time probably didn’t go the way I was expecting and now I was making a spectacle of myself. Thank God, the school year was almost over. Even though it was so late in the year, I got accepted to East Carolina. My bags were already packed and I moved into the condo my mom bought, the day after graduation. I had to leave. I haven’t been back since. It’s been over a year since I’ve been home,” I whispered.
“Katy,” he whispered, his lips brushing my hair as he pulled me