Unraveling (Second Chances) - By Micalea Smeltzer Page 0,2
there. “I did go out for a night of fun, tonight, and it ended up with me being groped. You know how I feel about being touched,” I snapped. “And where were you! You left me alone!”
I left out the part where I actually enjoyed being touched by my savior. Rollo would have had a field day with that news.
Rollo gaped like a fish. “I found a guy and we were having a drink. Besides, you were holding that guy’s hand. So much for your no touching policy.” He waggled his finger at me.
“This is why I don’t go out, Rollo. You deserve to have fun and meet a guy. You shouldn’t have to hang out with me all night, just in case some guy gets too cozy. And as for my no touching rule-” I fumbled for an excuse but came up with nothing.
Just because I felt safe with the stranger didn’t mean I was going to just suddenly let my past go and act like a carefree college student. I wouldn’t. No, I couldn’t.
Rollo looked at me and sadness filled his blue eyes. He shook his head. “I should’ve been with you. After all, you finally agreed to come out clubbing with me.”
“Let’s just call a truce.” I hated arguing with Rollo. He was the only person in my life that mattered. The only one I had left.
He smiled. “Deal,” he said, just as I parked in the student parking lot. “I’m sorry I snapped at you for holding that guy’s hand. I shouldn’t have done that. You haven’t even looked at a guy since-”
I held up my hand to cut him off. “I really don’t know what got into me.”
“Girlie,” Rollo took my hand, “you’ve got to move on sometime and live your life. You can’t let him win. You just can’t.”
“I know,” I sighed.
I felt like, I know and, I’m fine, were my answers to everything.
“Besides, that dude was total deliciousness. Think I can convert him to my team?”
“I doubt it,” I laughed. Rollo was the only person that could make me laugh anymore. I used to be fun and carefree, now I was shy and scared of my own shadow.
“When do you go to the therapist again?” Rollo asked.
I sighed. He asked me this question all the time. “Every Tuesday evening, Rollo, that hasn’t changed.”
“Well maybe I should call her up and ask her if she can talk some sense into you.”
“Rollo, she’s been trying to do that for the last two years. I think she’s just as frustrated with me as you are.”
“One day girlie, soon, I hope, you’re going to break out of this shell you’ve hidden yourself into. One day you’re just going to snap out of it and be free.”
“I doubt that,” I snorted.
“We’ll see,” Rollo said as he got out of the car. “In fact, I’d bet on it.”
2
I SAT ON THE LUMPY BLUE COUCH AND STARED AT SHARON. Her pale blonde, now graying, hair was pulled back tightly from her skull. She was kind, as far as a therapist goes, and didn’t constantly ask me questions. She actually helped me work through my paranoia.
“How have things been since we last spoke, Katy?” she sat back in her wingback chair and straightened her skirt. She held her pen poised above her clipboard but I never saw her write anything down. Maybe she waited until I left.
“I went out, clubbing with Rollo,” I swallowed.
She beamed at me, her pink painted lips pulling up at the corners. “That’s great news. You’re finally making progress.”
I laughed dejectedly. “I don’t know about that.”
“Did something happen?” Her eyes crinkled with worry. Was it strange that my therapist worried about my welfare more than my own mother?
“A guy, he got a bit too touchy feely.”
“How did you respond?” Okay, maybe she did ask a lot of questions.
“I felt cornered so I tried to find a way to remove myself from the situation just like you told me.”
“And did you?”
“No,” I shook my head and twisted my hands together. “Another guy showed up and intervened on my behalf.”
“Did he now? Did that frighten you?”
“No,” I shrugged. “He made me feel safe. I didn’t feel threatened. I’ve felt threatened by all men, except Rollo, since… since-” I buried my head in my hands.
“It’s okay dear,” Sharon said, reassuringly. “You’ve had to deal with a tremendous amount of emotional trauma. Tears are fine.”
I blinked my water-clogged eyes. “Why do you think I didn’t feel threatened by him?”