“Yeah.” He looked over his shoulder again. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
“Positive.”
“They won’t hurt you,” Fiona said.
Logan winced. “I’d rather not take that chance. This is the scariest fucking prank we’ve ever pulled.”
“Don’t be a baby.” I spotted Gavin in the rear-view mirror, heading our way. Levi and Asher were coming from the other direction. Asher was getting married tomorrow, but he was still out here with us. “Okay, beautiful. Are you ready?”
Fiona took a deep breath. “I think so.”
“Go get ‘em.”
“Be careful when you let them out,” she said. “They might get confused.”
“Don’t worry.” I leaned over and brushed her lips with a kiss. “I’ll be careful with them.”
She nodded, grabbed the box we’d made, and got out of the car.
Fiona had taken this prank extremely seriously—especially her role in it. And she’d been key to pulling it off. We needed someone to get in the tavern with a fake delivery. Obviously none of us could do it. But Fiona wasn’t as well known, and insisted she could disguise herself enough to look like a stranger.
I’d been skeptical, but she’d gone all out to make herself look convincing. Brown shirt and khaki shorts that at first glance looked a lot like a UPS driver. Her hat hid her face and she’d bought some non-prescription glasses, insisting that if glasses worked for Superman, they could work for her.
But she hadn’t stopped there. She’d taken out her nose ring, since that was fairly recognizable, and dyed her hair. She looked hot as fuck as a blond, so I was not complaining.
My brothers caught up with us as she walked across the street and up the sidewalk toward the tavern, casually tossing nuts out on the sidewalk as she went.
“Bro, it’s about to be squirrel-pocalypse,” Gavin said. “I hope you’re ready for what’s coming.”
“You guys did what Fiona said? You made the trails lead here?”
“Yeah. But you still haven’t told us why we’re luring every fucking squirrel in Tilikum over here.”
I got out and took the kennel out of the back seat. Peek and Boo scampered around inside. Fiona was almost to the tavern door, and more squirrels started to arrive, following the trails of nuts my brothers had laid out all around town.
“Fiona’s going to deliver the package, then her beady-eyed little friends here are going to do the rest.”
“What’s in the package?” Logan asked.
One corner of my mouth hooked in a grin. “Nuts, peanut butter, cookies. Squirrel crack, basically. And we rigged the box to explode when they open it, so it’s going to send shit flying everywhere.”
“How’d you do that?” Asher asked.
“She found a YouTube tutorial. The video was how to make a gift box that pops open and flings confetti. We just… modified it a little.”
“Like a glitter bomb?” Logan asked.
“Yeah, except it’s a nut bomb.”
Gavin snickered. “Nut bomb.”
Levi jumped out of the way as a squirrel ran by. “Jesus. But how are the squirrels going to get in? Is she going to hold the door open or something?”
I turned the kennel around so it was facing the trail of nuts that led to the building. “Nope. That’s why we have them. Stand back.”
My brothers took a few steps away and I opened the door.
Peek and Boo darted out of the kennel and circled around a bit, stopping to sniff the air. One of them noticed a few squirrels racing around the nuts Fiona had strewn and took the bait. The other followed.
“Come on, little shits,” I said under my breath.
They went around to the side of the tavern, just like they were supposed to. We could just see them climb up the tree we’d baited with treats and follow the branch that led across to the roof.
“When did you set this all up?” Logan asked.
“Last night. Fiona taught them how to do an obstacle course at home, so we just used the same technique here. And there’s a vent up there that I might have loosened so it would pop open if they pushed on it.”
We watched the two squirrels Fiona had trained find the vent hole near the roof. They both disappeared inside. A few more squirrels went up the tree after them, like they were curious where their friends had gone.
“Holy shit,” Gavin said.
Fiona came out of the tavern, minus the box. She glanced around, then held onto her hat and hurried over.