To her amazement, and then her endearment, Horatio Nelson threw back his head and laughed. “Dear lady, I am, too,” he said when he could speak. “In point of fact, nothing but my enthusiastic love for the profession keeps me one hour at sea.”
Who could not trust a man like this one? “Very well, Admiral Nelson, you may have Nick,” she told him, even as her heart broke. “I know he will be pleased.” She held her head up. “I am pleased a Bonfort will serve with the fleet.”
The implication of what she said made Nelson put his hand to his heart. “He’s just a guttersnipe borrowing your name,” he said, as if reminding her.
“He’s my guttersnipe, my Gunwharf Rat.” She hadn’t meant that to come out so vehemently, so full of possession. She reconsidered. Yes, she did.
Again, that kind eye. “Master Six, I would venture that St. Brendan’s has been equally well served by this lady. Equally.”
“I never argue with superior officers, Admiral Nelson,” Able said.
“I rather hope you will, master, in matters concerning navigation,” the admiral replied. He bowed. “I am returning to Merton. I have a family, too.” He nodded to Able. “Where away, Master Six?”
“The blockade in two days,” he said, after a glance at Meridee.
She knew it was coming. Everyone was leaving and the ladies would wait. For a brief moment, she thought of her spinster years living outside Plymouth with her sister’s family, beloved of them, but always on the outside. Was it easier or harder than this? She had no answer, except a smile. “Let’s go home.”
Able crooked out his arm and she put her arm through his, determined to treasure every small touch. He gestured to Lady St. Anthony. “And you, Grace? I have another arm.”
“So do I, Able,” Captain Ogilvie said as he bowed to a surprised Lady St. Anthony. “I’ll get her back before curfew.”
“I will be home sooner than that,” Grace assured them all, with some of her former crispness. “Meridee, do tell Junius I will be back in thirty minutes. Hopefully my little lad is still asleep.”
“May I join you?” Reverend Scott asked Meridee. “Alexander Scott at your service.”
Please don’t, Meridee wanted to tell the tall, courtly gentleman who looked nothing like a seaman. She nodded instead, knowing there was no point in putting off bad news for her that would send Nick into the rafters with joy. “Certainly, sir. I know Nick will want to meet you.”
The three of them crossed the street in silence. Meridee could tell Able didn’t know what to say to her. She only hoped he hadn’t been harboring up this information about Nick, as if trying to determine the best time to tell her, a time with people around so she wouldn’t cry. Stop it, Meridee, she scolded herself. Just stop it. He has no more control over war than you do.
Nick sat by himself in the dining room. Since Master Ferrier had requested he keep detailed notes of each class, Nick had accumulated a tidy pile of paper, which he had tabbed and separated into folders. Meridee watched him from the door of the dining room, mindful that his earlier chaotic years in the Dartmouth workhouse compelled order in his brain.
She knew that some of the other Rats had needed bits of food to squirrel away in their bedchambers against the nightly fear of hunger. With Nick, the need had been a hunger for the order found in books, paper and pencil. She wondered if he could manage the chaos of the HMS Victory in battle.
“Nick, there is someone here who has news for you,” she said. “Do make yourself known to Reverend Scott. Sir? This is Nick Bonfort.” Her heart breaking, she smiled at them both and ushered Lord Nelson’s secretary forward. “He has wonderful news for you.”
She turned away, blinded already by tears, and bumped into Able behind her. He tried to hold her there but she wrenched herself out of his grasp and hurried up the stairs, desperate to shut her bedroom door on them all. She stood against the door and gulped back her tears, listening. Silence, silence, and then a whoop from Nick.
Meridee covered her face with her hands and sobbed. Oddly, her ordinary mind took her on a journey of its own back to an afternoon when she had committed some childhood infraction and been sentenced to read several improving chapters in the book of…which one was it?