Unleashing Sin - A. M. Wilson Page 0,90

The line finally moved, so I was now customer number three.

“Mocha macchiato with a double shot.”

At least the conversation moved to a normal topic.

“Oh! A Gerard Butler look-a-like OB-GYN. Can you imagine the size of his–ˮ

“Kiersten!”

“What?” She feigned innocence, but I’m not stupid. “I was going to say hands, you perv.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’ll see you in fifteen.”

“That would make a good movie though. Gerard Butler, the hot, mercurial OB. By day, he feels up vaginas and by night he fuc–ˮ

“Goodbye, Kiersten!” I cut off her ridiculous fantasy. My cheeks suddenly felt hot, even though the rest of me was cold.

“Oh hey, what time is the party? And what should I get her? I suck at buying gifts.”

Finally, a topic I’d happily discuss in the middle of a coffee shop.

“This Saturday at noon. My place as usual. What does any fourteen-year-old like? Makeup, books, music, clothes. Nothing dating related.” Coming from Kiersten, that’d be a disaster. “I can’t believe how old she’s getting. I’m not ready for this age.”

“You’re a great mom. You can handle anything. Okay, see you soon, chick.” With that, she hung up.

As I lowered the phone from my ear, ready to indulge in a serious amount of coffee, an ominous vibe hit me. I didn’t realize where it was coming from until I placed my phone into my purse and looked up. Hairs stood up on the back of my neck as a shiver ran down my spine. The tall man in front of me had turned so that he was now facing the back of the line, his angry eyes aimed at me.

All of a millisecond passed before I got my first look into the fourteen-years-older face of my childhood love, Lawrence Briggs.

Or as I’d always called him—Law.

Oh, God.

He was as beautiful as always. Same dark, unruly hair and gray/green eyes. Except now that dark hair had a few threads of gray near the temples, and his eyes were outlined by creases.

And he was tall. So much taller than the last time I saw him. And built. Law was always strong but more lean than buff. Now he had big, rounded biceps that I was surprised fit into the sleeves of his Henley.

My mental calculation of all the ways he’d changed was cut short when he opened his mouth.

“Explains a lot,” he growled, not concealing the tone or volume of his voice.

Panic stole over me, and I looked around the room for assistance. Everyone was conveniently rushing around or ignoring my blatant plea for an intervention.

“I-I’m sorry?” That shiver turned into a full-on tremble.

“Fourteen years ago, you disappeared into the night. Without a trace. Nobody knew where you’d went. Hearing you now, it sounds like you got yourself a teenaged daughter. Explains a lot.”

I opened my mouth to deny, deny, deny, but playing dumb would get me nowhere. There’s no way in hell I wouldn’t recognize the man standing before me, just like he knew it was me as soon as I got into line behind him. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he clocked me the second I opened the door to this place.

I studied my wet shoes. “You don’t know anything.”

“I never was a stupid kid,” he bit out.

For a second, my heart completely stopped, and my eyes snapped to his. He knew. I didn’t know how, but he’d figured it all out.

“I’m sure as hell not a stupid man. I can do simple math. I know you wouldn’t have run away for the hell of it. Even if your whole life went to shit, you still had me and you knew it.”

“I’ve got to go. I’m sorry.” Screw getting coffee. If I stood there another second, I was going to break down.

Even as my feet carried me to the door, I could feel my heart trying to pull me back towards him.

“Just tell me who!” He barked after me.

My spine straightened almost painfully, the realization that he didn’t know hit me like a semi-truck. “Who, what?” I whispered, not turning around.

“Who knocked you up?” This was growled from beside me. Right near my ear. The closest I’ve been to Law in fourteen years, and it physically hurt to have his body so near, but emotionally, he’s never been further away.

I dropped my head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Matters to me. Matters whose dick was so important you’d throw everything we shared away. Damnit, you dropped out of school and left town without so much as a note in my mailbox as to where you went. Do you know what that did to me?”

Agony.

He tried to conceal it, but it was there, threaded through his words and his tone. And for me, it scored itself onto my heart. Next to all the other marks from leaving him in the first place.

“Law, I-ˮ

He cut me off to lean in and spit, “Lawrence.”

“L-Lawrence.” The tremble in my voice was audible. His name felt strange on my tongue. I hadn’t spoken it aloud in a decade and a half. “I’m sorry for what I did. But, I really have to go.”

As I pushed through the door I longed for him to chase after me, as stupid as that was. But he just stood there, the love of my past, glaring at me like he wished I was dead.

I felt dead.

So much so, even the rain slapping against my scalp when I forgot to open my umbrella did nothing to pull me out of my trance. I was halfway down the next block when I realized I was soaking wet and finally opened the stupid thing.

“Hey, where’s my coffee?” Kiersten asked, as I trudged soddenly into the office building where the meeting was scheduled.

I lifted my empty hands to my face, staring unseeingly past their wrinkled texture, and dropped them limply at my sides.

“Oh, shit, what happened?”

I opened my mouth, then cleared my throat before I could get the words to squeeze passed. Even then, they sounded hoarse. “I need you to drive me home. I’d walk, but I’m really cold. I can’t go to this meeting.”

Kiersten tilted her head, concerned. “I don’t think you should miss it. They might not give you a second chance to present the info again, and I know how hard you’ve worked on this.”

“They’ll eat me alive!” I screeched, and Kiersten took a step back. “Not like this, I can’t. I don’t have a chance,” I mumbled, the words not making sense. “You’re the only person I have that can take me home. If you won’t do it, I’ll walk, but it’s still pouring.” I rubbed a wet hand across my forehead as more tears clogged my throat. “I’d like to have some time alone because come four o’clock, my girl will be coming home from school, and I can’t let her see her momma like this.”

Kiersten gathered her coat and nabbed her keys from her top drawer. “Okay.” She pressed her keys into my palm and curled my fingers around them. “Go start the car, and I’ll call Mr. Ross to tell him you’re sick. You owe me. This means I have to miss my lunch break.”

My voice trembled when I replied, “Thank you.”

A fogginess settled over me as the strong emotions waned, and I walked in a daze to the parking lot, unlocked the car, and started it. Hot air blasted me, but I couldn’t feel anything. My mind was as blank as it was overwhelmingly full. I was just numb.

Thankfully, Kiersten kept her questions to herself on the ride back to my house. I thanked her for the ride and walked myself inside. After a long hot shower, I finally started to thaw, and that’s when the tears fell.

Loads of them.

I didn’t allow myself to break down when I left home all those years ago. There wasn’t any room to feel sorry for myself when the decision had been mine all along. Money may have been an incentive, but nobody forced me to go. I just didn’t know how to face Law with the magnitude of my mistakes. When he found out the truth, I was going to lose him either way, and that solidified my decision. In the end, I wanted it to be me walking away. Even if that made me a coward.

Seeing him again brought all those feelings rushing back to the surface. I made a game plan. I had six hours.

For the first time in fourteen years, I let myself cry for all that I’d lost. To remember the boy I’d loved.

And after I did that, I’d pull myself from my bed, clean myself up, and greet my baby girl when she got off the bus from school.

Because losing Law might have been a consequence of the greatest mistake of my life, but I could never bring myself to regret my daughter.

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