Unhinge - Calia Read Page 0,51

two years. He was worried that the business would fail. Honestly, so was I. But I wanted to at least try and see if it had a chance. We were snapping at each other for a good two months and then one night he didn’t come home and that was our reality check. We made a conscious effort to work through the stresses of life, trying not to take it out on each other.”

Two months. To me, two months seemed like a walk in the park.

“From the devastated look on your face, I assume that’s not exactly what you wanted to hear,” Renee said wearily.

I slumped in the chair. “Things are much worse than that between Wes and me.”

“Like how?”

“If I tell you—”

Renee held up both hands. “I won’t tell a soul. And I mean that.”

I nodded and took a deep breath. “Things have been stressful lately for Wes. He’s trying to make partner and it’s taking longer than he anticipated. He works crazy hours. We hardly see each other and it’s just…rough. Last year, I thought having a baby would really round us off, make us happier than we could even imagine. But that didn’t happen. I quit my job…I gave up a part of my identity for Wes. He didn’t want a baby, but I pressured him into it….He’s lost his temper a few times. It happens out of nowhere, when I least expect it.” I exhaled loudly. “Each outburst is becoming worse than the last and I don’t know what to do anymore.”

I always thought telling the truth would be akin to pulling teeth. But in a way, I felt free.

“These outbursts,” she said, starting off slowly. “How bad are they?”

Renee presented the question calmly, not completely coming out and asking me if the relationship was abusive. Instead it was silently implied.

I was repressing every bad thing that had happened to Wes and me and it was slowly eating me alive. I knew I had to confess the truth to someone, but it was the last thing I wanted to do. No one wants to come out and reveal their pain and humiliation. It’s like standing naked in front of a group of strangers.

But Renee was no stranger and deep down I knew that if I was to confide in anyone, Renee should be the person.

I stood up from my chair. Renee gave me a confused look as I turned and gave her my back. Sometimes words fail you. Sometimes there’s no adequate way to describe a situation or your feelings. Sometimes you have to show them.

Staring at the wall, I reminded myself that I could trust her, then I raised the hem of my shirt up to my shoulders.

I knew the moment she saw it from the way she gasped. Most of the bruises from the night of our second anniversary had faded. But what Renee saw wasn’t a bruise. It was a cut. When Wes slammed my back against the wall in the restaurant, I hit the edge of the mirror. It left a nasty cut of about five inches.

Only a few seconds passed by, but it was long enough for me. I dropped my shirt and quickly turned back around.

Renee wore a look of horror. “What was that?”

“That was a brief look into my marriage,” I mumbled.

A pained expression crossed her face. “Has this been happening the whole time?”

Leaning against the counter, I shrugged and stared at the floor. “Not the whole time.”

“Then how long?”

“Just…recently,” I confessed, not bothering to admit the times where he’d acted completely erratically.

“This just doesn’t sound like him. I can’t believe this,” she replied in a half daze.

“Well, it is.”

A tense silence swirled around the room. Renee started to pace back and forth. “This is not okay,” she said fiercely.

“I know that.”

She whipped her body around, eyes wide. “So you’re going to leave him.”

I hesitated and her face fell. “Oh, Victoria. No….”

“It’s complicated,” I mumbled, but even to my own ears my reply was weak. I might have revealed a small portion of the truth, but I wasn’t ready for it all to come out into the open. I couldn’t explain to her that my fear was a large, powerful beast living inside me, controlling everything I did, to the point where I felt paralyzed in my own body. Choices and decisions that I would have easily made in a heartbeat were now uphill battles that I could never seem to conquer.

I couldn’t tell her that I felt like