Undressed with the Marquess (Lost Lords of London #3) - Christi Caldwell Page 0,125

being with one another as they had jesting or teasing or talking about anything and everything.

Something in this, however, felt . . . different. Unease whispered up and down his spine.

“I spoke to my grandfather,” he said, wanting to get to the heart of it.

At last she faced him. “I saw you conversing.” Her eyes moved a tender path over his face. “I am so happy that you and he have found a way to be a family.”

A family.

Only there was just a partial peace with his grandparents. Temperance, a life with her, represented all he sought in a family.

“I explained that I’ll not sell my sister to marriage, not even for his fortune.”

A smile formed on her lips, and she smoothed her palms down the front of his chest, that wifely gesture the more automatic and beautiful for it.

“I didn’t do that because of me,” he said, mourning the loss of that tender caress as she let her arms fall to her sides. “Nor do I believe I was truly capable of seeing how ruthless I was in my approach to my . . . family.” It was still foreign, thinking of Kinsley and his grandparents in those terms. Mayhap it always would be. He did see now that he couldn’t have a relationship with them . . . unless he tried. “I did it because of you.”

She made a sound of protest. “You’re wrong. You would have eventually come to see Kinsley. It might have just taken you a bit longer.”

She didn’t give herself enough credit for all the ways in which she’d changed him . . . for the better.

“And . . . did you speak to your grandfather about his other terms for you?” She briefly dropped her gaze. “Did you tell him we could not have a child?”

“No.” He saw the way her body tensed, and yearned to take her in his arms. “I didn’t tell him, Temperance, because that was never his business . . . or anyone else’s. I was never going to ask you or make you a broodmare for some arrangement. I wouldn’t whore you or myself.”

“And definitely not now . . . knowing what you know.” She turned, angling her body and shutting him out. Her features, reflected in the window, were a mask, and terrifying for their absolute blankness.

Panic rooted around his chest. She was shutting him out. Pulling away. And he’d be damned if he let her. Dare tried again. “I told him that we wouldn’t answer to anyone about the topic of babes, because it did not matter. Because it doesn’t, Temperance.” He paused. “You matter. Having a life with you matters.”

Her back tensed.

Dare drifted closer and lightly touched her shoulder, bringing her about to look at him. “I’m telling you, the funds? They do not matter.” He moved his gaze over every cherished plane of her face, willing her to see that truth. She was the only thing that did matter, a future with her.

“You don’t mean that,” she countered. There was a slightly elevated edge to her voice, one that urged caution and told him the wrong word uttered would be a costly one. “You know the good you can do with that money. You’ve been plotting and planning all the ways to use it. You don’t just abandon that. Not you.” She drew in a breath, and when she spoke, she’d reclaimed her earlier composure. “So do not pretend like they don’t, Dare.”

That had been before.

Before he’d let himself to a vision of a future. Before he’d allowed himself to see that maybe he was worthy of one, after all.

He forced himself to speak with a calm he didn’t feel. “You are right. That money could be used for good.” Her gaze flickered away from his. “But there can and will be other ways for me to secure those funds.” Her eyes darkened. “Honorable ways,” he hurried to correct. “Ones that don’t require me to steal anymore. I’m done with that way of life, Temperance.”

He wanted a new start, a life with an intent and actions that were both honorable.

And for a moment, he believed he’d penetrated her reservations. The hope and happiness in her revealing eyes proved fleeting. “I wasn’t enough before, Dare,” she said softly, “and I’ve even less to offer you.” Now that there couldn’t be a babe.

His heart knocked uncomfortably against his rib cage. I am losing her. Because he’d never shown her that she was more important to him