He held it toward me so I could try it, and once it worked, Ira wanted to try too.
“It’s easy, huh? And it works just like your old pump. You change it every week, but since this is only a test run, you can leave it on him until Friday and we’ll see how well it worked, and if he got along with it.”
I was glad Ira had the choice after trying the new pump because even if this one was better, as Dr. Cole said, I wanted it to be more comfortable for Ira.
It didn’t take long to switch the pumps, and only twenty minutes later, Ira and I were out of the hospital again, ready to go.
“Still wanna go to the bookstore?” I asked as I strapped him into his car seat.
“Yes, please!”
How could I say no to that?
“All right, and maybe after we can go grab a delicious dinner at Divine. Remember? The place we got the yummy pasta and cinnamon rolls from.”
Ira nodded. “When we went on a picnic with Rooney. Can we go picnic with her again?”
He had no idea how much I wanted that, but I still had to deal with my own shit, and that could take a while.
“Soon, buddy.”
We spent almost an hour at the bookstore and looked at books that would potentially make it onto Ira’s bookshelf.
There were a few books I had to take from Ira and put on a worker’s cart so they could get back on the shelves where they belonged as they weren’t very kid friendly.
Luckily, Ira couldn’t read yet, and the two drawn people on the Kama Sutra didn’t catch his eyes like they would older kids.
“This one?” he asked, running back to me with a book that had a family tree on the cover, and I pressed my lips into a thin line to prepare myself for what was coming next.
“There is a grandma and grandpa, and a mommy and daddy, and that’s me,” he said, pointing at the little boy pictured on the lower end of the tree branches.
I studied the book cover before looking at Ira with a gentle smile. “You’re wondering where your mommy is, huh?”
I kept my voice low, trying not to look too sad in front of him.
I didn’t want him to think it was a sad thing that his mother wasn’t around, but I wanted him to understand that it wasn’t an easy situation.
He didn’t reply at first and went on to open the book.
After a little bit of silence, he talked again. “When can I see my mommy?” he asked, breaking my damn heart into millions of pieces.
I cupped the back of his head and pulled him between my legs, making it easy to be on his level while sitting on the kiddie couch.
I pressed my lips against his forehead and closed my eyes, trying my best not to lose a few tears.
“I’ll tell you all about your mommy tonight before you go to bed, okay, bud?”
“Is it a happy story?”
Leave it to him to notice something was off.
I smiled at him, brushing back his hair and kissing his cheek. “I can promise you will love the story,” I told him in a gentle voice.
And I will tell him how beautiful you were inside and out, Leah.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Wells
We were just about to enter our apartment complex after getting dinner at Divine as Grant pulled up with his car in the parking lot.
Ira immediately recognized the car as his best friend’s, and waited patiently for him to get out.
“What are you doing here?” I asked Grant as he stepped out of the car.
“Was hoping to get a beer. Bad timing?” he asked, opening Benny’s door and letting him out so the two little ones could say hi to each other.
“Uh, no. Ira and I just have to eat dinner.”
“That’s fine,” he said, locking the car and looking at our sons. “Benny has been asking for Ira all day, and I know he won’t go down easy tonight if he doesn’t see him.”
Understandable.
My son was a real nice little guy.
“I got a new pump!” Ira announced, showing it off to his best friend and then Grant.
“Looks great, Ira. Gonna take good care of it, hm?”
“Yes, I will,” Ira replied with a nod, then he reached for Benny’s hand to pull him up the stairs and to the entrance.
“He doing okay?”
“Yeah, he doesn’t seem to be bothered much by the new pump,” I told him.