Lizzie was listening to the same conversation, giving her sympathetic glances, knowing that Jack was her boyfriend.
All at once Alan’s frantic voice. ‘He’s been hit! He’s been hit! He’s on fire. Bail out, Jack! Bail out! Red Leader, can you hear me? You have to bail out!’
The transmission crackled and cut off. Lizzie was going to faint. She reached out to the girl next to her and grabbed her arm as Alan’s sombre voice came back. ‘I’ve lost sight of Red Leader in the cloud cover… Anyone see him bail out?’
The transmission was silent, the long ominous crackle confirming everyone’s worst fears. Lizzie didn’t hear any more; nothing was registering; it was if her mind had just shut down. Looking around her for reassurance, she shouted to the whole room, ‘Did anyone hear if he got out? Please, someone, did you hear! Did you hear!’
Lizzie searched frantically from face to face, looking for someone to reassure her. To tell her that they had heard something else, something about him being safe. But the whole room of women were frozen, as if turned to stone, the horror on all of their faces. Many of them knew she was engaged to Jack Henson.
Then a calm voice came over her headset. It was Stan. ‘He may well have bailed out, Lizzie. Just because they didn’t see him doesn’t mean that he’s not okay.’
Lizzie yanked off her headset and threw it down on the table. Why was it so hot, and why was the room spinning? She thought she was going to pass out.
All at once, one of the other girls was beside her with a chair, helping her down onto it. And somebody else arrived with a glass of water.
She held it, her hand shaking uncontrollably, staring at the glass, not knowing what to do with it, waiting for somebody to tell her what to do. Her mind was reeling with a thousand thoughts. This was not supposed to happen. They were going to be together forever, he had promised her. He was lucky, Alan had told her. This was just some cruel joke, maybe just a nightmare, she would wake up in a minute. There had to be a mistake. He must have got out. The weight of the alternative was too monstrous for her mind to grapple with.
Someone must have called her superior because Sergeant Wheaton’s face suddenly swam into her view.
‘Come on, Lizzie. Let’s go to my office. I’ll make you a cup of tea.’
Lizzie didn’t remember the walk back up out of the operations room through the long dark tunnel. She didn’t remember going into the office. The next thing she remembered was the heat of the cup in her hand. All around her, everything was dark and moving slowly, as if she were deep underwater. When people spoke to her, the words didn’t make any sense. Nothing seemed to register. Sergeant Wheaton was telling her things, but they just washed over her. Then, there was a knock on the door.
Her superior must have called Diana, who was listed as a contact in Lizzie’s files because all of a sudden, she was there with Lizzie, lifting her from the chair, walking her outside, placing her in a vehicle, and putting her arm around her as they were driven back home.
She didn’t say much. Just held Lizzie as they went. Words just weren’t possible. What could either of them say? Diana was helping her into the house. They were still clearing up from the recent raid but the kitchen was now in decent enough shape for Diana to sit Lizzie down and make her a strong cup of tea with lots of sugar, as she quietly sobbed into a handkerchief.
‘He’s all right, isn’t he, Diana? Tell me you think he’s all right.’
Diana looked out of the cracked kitchen window, resolutely, appearing not to be able to quell Lizzie’s worst fears.
‘We’ll know soon enough,’ she said quietly. ‘Sergeant Wheaton told me as we headed out of the door that as soon as they had any news, she would let us know.’
Lizzie burst into tears and howled. She collapsed forward onto her arms and sobbed, her shoulders heaving with the pain that came from the pit of her stomach. Diana was beside her again, saying reassuring things, but Lizzie was crying so hard she couldn’t hear any of it.
Once she had cried herself dry she lifted her head. This was all wrong, there had to be a mistake, he had to have