Under the Lights (The Field Party #2) - Abbi Glines Page 0,78

for this kind of thing.

“Won’t happen again,” I assured her, picking up a croissant and heading out the door.

“No, it won’t,” she agreed.

That had sounded a little forceful and matter-of-fact. Ms. Ames putting her foot down. That made me smile. I went back toward the stairs like I was going to my room but headed for the back west entrance so I could sneak over to see Willa. I needed to make sure she was okay. Ms. Ames didn’t seem real happy with her. Or me.

Dealing with Brady’s nosy ass this morning hadn’t helped after my interaction with Rhett and his father. Rhett was currently in his father’s office being told the truth. I’d started this, and now they all had to finish it. I knew the truth now. Didn’t mean I still didn’t want to run away, but knowing it made me feel more powerful. Not complete or a part of this family, but I still felt in control. It was the best I could do with this situation, though a part of me still ached for the family I never had, and would never have.

When I made it outside the house, I ran back near the tree house and used the wooded area for cover so no one saw me headed to Ms. Ames’s house. Especially Ms. Ames. Seeing Willa and hearing her talk would make my morning better. She was the only thing that could. Once I got to the back door, I knocked and waited. After a few minutes I knocked again. Nothing.

Where could she be? Just before I walked away to go knock on her window, a letter fell through the slot on the door and bounced on its corner when it hit the porch, before flopping on its back at my feet.

Gunner was clearly written on the front in Willa’s handwriting.

“Willa? Open the door,” I said loud enough so she could hear me.

Nothing.

What in the hell was going on? She was in there. Proof was at my feet in some silly letter. Bending down, I picked it up and opened it to pull out a handwritten letter folded neatly inside. “Willa! What is this about?” I called out, my heart sinking. Letters from girls who won’t speak to you are never a good thing. I needed her to talk to me. I didn’t need a note! Dammit!

When she said nothing, I unfolded the letter and began to read.

Gunner,

I’m sorry that this has to be done in a letter. Believe me, this is not my way of being afraid to face you. It’s the only way I can protect myself. Not from you but from being sent away. Again.

Nonna was waiting on me last night when I got home. It didn’t look good, and it was similar to what had happened with my mother when she was this age. Nonna is afraid I’ll end up like my mother, and she is worried about me.

I had no one and Nonna took me in. She deserves more from me than my sneaking around. She asked me to not spend time with boys, and I broke that rule within the first week of my being here. It isn’t fair to her. She is giving me a home when no one else will.

You have a lot of hurt inside you that needs time and space to heal. Going off to college next year will give you that. There’s this whole world outside of Lawton that you can conquer then. I can’t give you the healing you need. I’d like to think that loving you is enough, but it isn’t. You can’t love yet. Our timing is off, and for both of us this is better.

I’ll be homeschooling the rest of the year and staying in this house. No social outings or contact with anyone. It’s for the best. I need to heal too.

I’m sorry I can’t be there for you, but I have to take care of me.

Willa

I didn’t reread it. I didn’t have to. The words were clear. I folded the paper back into the neat little rectangle it had been in and placed it back in the envelope before slipping it back through the slot.

Then I walked away. There was no reason to argue with her. I was tired of begging the world to love me. I was exhausted from trying to be good enough for someone to want to fight for. Willa was no different. I should have expected that. Something was wrong with me. That