the right. Behind me, Derek says something. Then I hear a groan, labored breathing, and the sound of someone’s feet dragging on the floor.
As the guard opens my cell, I realize what Ben’s brother said to me.
He said, “Run.”
03:22:04:29
I can’t breathe. It feels like the walls are closing in on me, like the ground is moving underneath my feet. My face is too hot, my body is too cold, and my insides are flipping around. That was Ben’s brother, with dried blood caked onto his clothes and bruises over his face and arms. Who knows where they’re taking him now—and what they’re going to do to him.
My body starts to shake, and I try to suck air into my lungs.
When I break out in eleven hours, I’m supposed to leave him here.
03:20:17:25
My cell is small and dark, just large enough for the thin cot on one side. Instead of a toilet, there’s a dark hole in the floor in one corner. The weak light bulb on the ceiling flickers a little, giving the room a horror-movie type of feel. The fact that everything smells like bleach, but I can’t get the scent of blood and urine out of my nose, doesn’t help either.
I’m lying on top of the cot in the standard light-blue cotton prison jumpsuit.
But I can’t will my body to relax or my mind to stop spinning long enough to even have a fitful nap.
I hear faint screams coming from somewhere else in the prison and I’m not sure if they’re real or part of my overactive imagination. I can’t leave Ben’s family in here. I have to get them out, but I don’t have the codes to open their doors—only Elijah’s—and I don’t know how to contact Barclay.
My legs shift a little. They’re restless, and I stand up to pace around the tiny room.
No matter what, I can’t stay here. Every time I hear a noise outside, I worry Meridian is coming for me. I’m worried about Elijah and about everything that could go wrong tonight. What will I do if he’s too injured to walk?
My hands shake as I pace, and I press them to my forehead. I have to relax and stay focused. Falling apart now won’t help anyone. I force myself to take a deep breath. There must be a way to save Ben’s family.
I shouldn’t let my legs get too tired so I climb back on the bed, close my eyes, and think of Ben. I see him, wearing one of my dad’s old T-shirts and a pair of his sweatpants, freshly showered, smelling like my shampoo, the night Elijah got shot. I remember how he reached out and grabbed one of my hands. Our fingers intertwined and those dark eyes looked straight into mine, lying next to each other in my bed, holding on to each other before the world fell apart.
You’re strong and smart, and you never put yourself first. You don’t let anything get in your way, and you’re beautiful.
I can almost feel the heat of his body next to mine, the strength of his arms around me, and the way he made me feel like no matter what happened, we wouldn’t give up, we would fight for what we wanted up to the very end.
I hold on to that memory. It’s easier to keep fighting if I don’t feel alone.
03:11:20:57
I lie on the cot, flat on my back. I’ve got nothing.
I haven’t come up with a single viable plan to get Ben’s brother—or anyone in his family—out of their cells.
And I’m running out of time.
I’m going to have to leave them. The idea settles over me like a lead blanket. I think the words—I’m going to have to leave them. It leaves me tingly and a little sick—it’s the same feeling I got when I had to tell Jared about Alex, news I didn’t want to admit in case it made it more true, and news I wasn’t quite sure how he’d react to, just that the reaction would be bad.
Tonight at midnight, during the guards’ shift change, Barclay will hack into the security system, my cell door will open, and he’ll set off an EMP. Then he’ll wait just outside the grounds.
When the EMP goes off, it will knock out all the power in the prison. It’ll take about thirty seconds for the backup generator to power up and then another twenty for the computers and security systems to reboot. I need to get to Elijah’s cell, open