really want to live in your house if we can make it work.”
“I’ll ask Tad if he can remember which company they got to do it,” Isaac said.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Do you want to hold one of the twins?” Isaac asked Charlie.
“I…” Charlie shook his head. “It’s okay.”
“Are you saying no because you don’t want to?”
Charlie shrugged. “I wouldn’t want to…” He looked to me, his eyes pleading.
“You’ll be fine,” Jesse said.
“What if I’m not?”
“We’re here,” Isaac said.
“I know it’s stupid to be scared,” Charlie admitted.
“Sometimes our hearts rule our heads,” Jesse said. “That’s not stupid, and there’s also not much we can do
about it. But if you face your fear and see that it’s okay, maybe it’ll die down a little until, eventually, you realise
you’re not scared at all.”
“And this is why you write songs and I don’t,” Charlie said. “Pretty words just come naturally to you and Austin,
don’t they?”
Jesse laughed. “I wouldn’t say that.”
“Where would you feel most comfortable?” Isaac asked.
Charlie pursed his lips and looked around. “On the floor by the wall.”
“Get yourself comfortable, and I’ll bring one of the boys over to you.”
Charlie grabbed a couple of cushions and moved to sit cross-legged against the wall. He put the cushions on his
right, the side he fell whenever he had a seizure. Isaac carried Jasper over to him and quickly instructed him on
how best to hold the baby. Charlie held Jasper in the crook of his left arm.
“Are you okay?” Isaac asked.
Charlie nodded. “But stay close?”
Isaac sat beside him, within reach to take Jasper if he needed to. I hoped it wouldn’t be necessary.
Charlie looked captivated as he stared down into Jasper’s eyes. My insides stirred with all kinds of warm
feelings. Seeing him holding a baby made me long for one of our own even more. He looked beautiful and, as he
relaxed, completely content. He tickled Jasper’s tummy, laughed whenever the baby grabbed hold of his finger,
gasped with surprise when Jasper sucked his finger, and let out happy sighs whenever Jasper smiled at him.
Jesse brought Colby over to me. “He looks happy.” He spoke quietly.
“Who? Jasper or Charlie?”
Jesse laughed. “Both.”
“You know arctic foxes have amazing hearing, don’t you?”
Charlie glanced up at us and smiled, a sure sign he’d heard every whispered word we’d spoken. He looked
directly into my eyes, and, for a moment, my breath was completely stolen from my lungs. In that one look,
Charlie conveyed so much love for me that I thought my heart would burst and overflow.
“It’s nearly feeding time,” Jesse said. “I’ll go and make a couple of bottles.”
Charlie looked to Isaac.
“Do you want to feed Jasper?” Isaac asked.
Charlie nodded hesitantly. “Is that okay?”
“Of course. You’re doing great, considering you’ve never held a baby before.” Isaac grinned at me. “You realise we
’re going to be sending the twins over to their granddads for a sleepover soon, don’t you?”
I smiled. “Feel free anytime you like. We’ll be fine with them, won’t we, Charlie?”
Charlie’s stare met mine again. Although there was wariness in his eyes, he smiled and nodded. “I’m not sure
about being called granddad, though… Can’t I just be Charlie?”
“I don’t like being called granddad either,” I told him. “I do keep telling Jesse and Isaac that.”
Isaac gave us both an innocent smile.
When Jesse brought the bottles, I fed Colby while Charlie fed Jasper. Charlie was a lot more relaxed for the rest
of the afternoon, which was wonderful to see.
Later, as Wulf drove us home, Charlie rested his head on my shoulder and draped his arm over my chest.
“Let’s go see my neurologist,” he whispered. “To find out about the implications of me getting pregnant.”
My heart leapt into my throat. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, positive. I want to have a baby with you, Austin. I’m about to take an indefinite career break, and like you
said, it’ll take a while to set Freedom Records up. Now seems like a good time to at least look into it, don’t you
think?”
“Yes,” I whispered. I was too overwhelmed by happiness to say anything more.
16
Charlie
Wembley Arena might not have been the biggest concert arena I’d played during my tour, but it was good to be
playing to a home audience. As I went out onstage and sang “Heartbeat”, I searched the crowd, wondering if my
dads and my brother, Deacon, and his family were out there somewhere. I hadn’t heard that they were coming,
but Dad hadn’t said they weren’t either. I tried not to let
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