At the time Martin thought his father regarded Hartley as the son he wished he had—healthy, clever, handsome. He thought his father was punishing him for his failures as a son by bankrupting the estate in favor of his own replacement.
It had taken years for Martin to understand that Sir Humphrey had never had fatherly feelings toward Hartley, and even longer to grasp how young Hartley had been when Sir Humphrey had first persuaded him to trade intimacies for his family’s welfare. Martin had spent his entire life trying and failing to please his father, and it was only after Sir Humphrey died that Martin learned the extent of his father’s evil. By then, he had spent years regarding Hartley as his enemy. Now he suspected that Hartley had first avoided Martin out of shame or embarrassment about the nature of his relationship with Martin’s father. Martin had a long list of regrets, and toward the top of the list was that he had effectively abandoned Hartley at a time when all his brothers were away from home and he was being taken advantage of by a much older man.
Martin felt entirely justified in being leery of seeing Hartley again. He couldn’t do it without a proper apology, but he didn’t know how to even start. Some things couldn’t be apologized for.
Gingerly, Martin got to his feet and reached for the sheet of toweling that Will had left nearby. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Will stepping near. “I’m not going to fall,” he snapped.
“There are clean clothes in the trunk at the foot of the bed.”
Martin dressed himself in a threadbare linen shirt and a pair of trousers that hung off him. God knew where they had come from. Perhaps Hartley had sent these too. Perhaps Hartley was paying for all of this, from the cottage to the soap to the round of cheese. Martin bristled at the thought, but found that he didn’t care as much as he might have a year ago. If Hartley wanted to be stupid with the money Martin’s father had left him, Martin wasn’t going to object.
As he fastened the trousers, he heard a splash and turned in time to see Will lowering himself into the tub. He hastily looked away. Slowly, and with a great deal of shame, he looked back. Will was in profile, backlit by the fire, but even in silhouette Martin could tell that he was whipcord thin. He always had been; he was made of fine bones and a bare minimum of muscle, overlaid with freckled skin. It had been the sight of Will, casually stripping before plunging into the lake, that had been Martin’s first clue that he might not be entirely like other men. And still, a single glimpse of him made Martin’s heart twist around inside his rib cage in a way that the sight of nobody else ever had. The birds weren’t visible from this angle, but the scars across Will’s back were, and that was what finally propelled Martin to behave decently. He climbed into bed, pulled the covers up to his chin, rolled so he faced the wall, and pretended to sleep.
Will was aware of Martin’s gaze on him as he shaved. “What?” he asked, angling the small hand mirror so he could get a look at his jaw. “Hartley’s visiting again today and he’ll act disgraced if I’m scruffy.”
“I’m the one who’s scruffy,” Martin said. Out of the corner of his eye, Will saw him touch his face.
“Not as bad as when I found you in London. You had beard, and the doctor told me I had to shave it off and cut your hair.”
Martin’s hand flew to his head.
“No, I didn’t cut your hair. But I did shave you, and you swore at me the whole time, so I didn’t do it again.”
“I rather wish you had.”
Puzzled, Will turned to look at Martin. “You know you can use the razor anytime you want, right?”
“I’m afraid I don’t know how,” Martin said after a moment. Will wiped the blade on a wet cloth and regarded his friend. Martin’s cheeks were pink and his gaze fixed on the floor. “I’ve always had a valet.”
Will blew out a breath and tried not to dwell on Sir Humphrey’s failings as a parent and a human. “Want me to teach you?”
“Would you?” Martin asked doubtfully, as if Will had offered him something highly valuable but also untoward. Will didn’t know what had