Two for Joy - Louise Collins Page 0,14
my point.”
“Huh?”
Romeo rolled his eyes. “She thinks because I look good, I sound good, I act in a respectful manner, I must be good deep down, too.”
Will groaned. “So what your saying is I should start acting all respectful, then maybe she’ll interview me, and I can drool over her tits.”
“She’s not gonna interview you because you look like the crazy killer you are, there’s no story in that. I, on the other hand, am handsome. I was successful, had money, had nice things, then apparently lost my mind and decided I had to kill someone. I’m interesting. An abnormality in all things serial killers. Serial killers are not supposed to be this hot.”
“You really are an arrogant piece of work.”
“Believe it or not, but I’m trying to make you feel better.”
“How does calling me ugly help me feel better?”
“I’m telling you that if I had your face, she wouldn’t be interviewing me. She’s only interested in me on a skin-deep level.”
“I’d take skin deep in the hope that I might get balls deep.”
Romeo spotted Paul walking towards them. He had a load of letters in his hand, walked straight up to Will’s cell, then mumbled, “Nothing for you.”
“That’s cruel, you know.” Will said.
“That’s why I do it. Romeo back away.”
He perched on the edge of the bed, then Paul approached. He flicked letters through the bars, one at a time, then grinned before marching off. Romeo sighed, then collected all the letters he’d received.
“Your adoring fans.” Will said.
Romeo had stopped opening them months ago. It was all the same. Women telling him they could change him. That he was hot and wanted to get to know him. He’d even had a few proposals, but most of it was sexy talk. Some letters were so explicit they had to be blanked out. At first, they’d been entertaining, but then they became repetitive, dull, and the only entertainment came from passing them to Will and listening to his reaction.
Romeo crouched down at the bars to his cell, and saw Will frantically waving his hand. It was their signal, and Romeo stuck the letters out through his bars, then pushed them hard in Wills direction. The walls too thick for them to pass objects between them, they had to push, and hope the guards were feeling too lazy to bother them for letters. They would’ve been checked first before they were handed out anyway.
“Thanks, buddy.” Will said.
“No problem.”
Boredom was their enemy, and if Romeo could help Will, he would in the hope that one day, he might return the favor.
He listened as Will frantically tore into an envelope, then heard him sniff.
“Perfume.” Will told him, “And a saucy message from Kelly…”
“Let’s hear it.”
“Romeo, oh Romeo, you make me foam-eo…”
“Really?”
“Yep, really. What else rhymes with Romeo though?”
“Nothing.”
“Cameo?”
“It doesn’t rhyme.”
“Yeah, it does, ends in eo.”
Romeo sighed, “Just open another.”
He listened to Will tearing an envelope. “Naughty Nicki.”
Romeo snorted. Nicki always wore lots of red lipstick and kissed the envelope.
“Hey, big guy. I’ve been pushing my blank up my blank till my toes curl. I orgasmed so hard blank blank everywhere, even in my blank. I’d love your blank, I’d be dirty with it. I’d blank blank my blank blank, then blank your blank.”
Romeo started to laugh. “Sounds hot.”
“I need a pen just to work it out.”
“It can keep you busy in the night—you can imagine she put whatever you want.”
“You’re right. I can mix it up. That one’s a keeper.”
“Open another.”
“Okay.”
Romeo rested his back against the bars and waited for Will to start speaking.
He made a confused sound, then muttered to himself.
“What is it?” Romeo asked.
“I’m not sure what she wants you to do with it… I don’t get it.”
“How do you know it’s a chick, could be from a guy.”
“I dunno … maybe.”
“It would help if you told me what’s in the letter?”
“There’s no letter, it’s just a picture.”
“Of what?”
“A feather.”
Romeo turned around and thrust his arm through the bars. “Give me it back, give me it back now!”
“Okay, okay—
“Now, Will, and if you fuck this up, I swear I’ll never give you another letter. I’ll never describe what Holly’s wearing.”
“Jesus, Romeo.”
Romeo saw Will reach through his bars with the letter. He pressed it on the floor, then shoved it towards Romeo. He slapped his hand down, capturing the letter. His heart thundered, his breathing came in rasps, and he pulled the feather from the envelope.
Half black, half white, a magpie’s feather, and Romeo’s lips stretched into a smile. It was from Chad,