Twisted Perfection Page 0,42

to get it through your head that you can’t go outside? It’s dangerous out there.” The shrill screech of my mother’s voice was nothing like the searing pain from the leather belt that she slashed across my legs. I knew not to cry out in pain. She’d only get angrier. Sneaking out of the house always sent her into a tailspin.

My knees buckled as the tender skin behind my knees tore open from the continuous hit of the leather.

“Diseases. There are diseases out there that you could bring into this house. You’re not only being reckless you’re being selfish,” she yelled and I was thankful that it muffled the sound of my cries. I wasn’t able to hold back anymore. The pain was too much. Sometimes I wondered why I even came back after I snuck out. Why didn’t I run? Keep running until I was free of this. Of her.

But I couldn’t. She needed me. I would never be free. I couldn’t leave her. She was my mother. She was all I had.

“Do you think of me? NO! Do you think of your brother? NO! This upsets him, you leaving the house. How could you?” She yelled as another slash sliced open the backs of my legs. I would start wishing I was the child that was dead when the beatings were this bad. The pain was too much.

The scene changed and my mother was no longer looming over me with her crazed, fearful face as she beat me. Instead there was no life in her eyes as she lay in a pool of blood. I started to scream.

“Shhhh, Della, it’s okay. I’ve got you. Shhhh.” The voice was far away but I heard it. The images of my mother’s death slowly faded as I focused more on the voice. The sobs were mine. I recognized them.

“That’s it. You’re okay. I’m here,” the voice said gently.

I opened my eyes and as they came into focus. I realized the voice was Tripp’s. The fear on his face said enough. He was holding me in his arms as he rocked me back and forth saying soothing words. He hadn’t been prepared for what he’d just seen. I could see the questions in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I managed to croak out. My throat was raw from the screaming. It always was when I woke up like this. Braden had been the first person ever to experience this with me. My psychologist had said it was a night terror. That my trauma was being expressed while I was asleep and my guard was down. Unfortunately, nothing I’d done had helped this. When I slept, my mother always came. Then the memories came with her.

“Hush,” he said, putting his finger over my mouth and shaking his head. “Don’t. I can’t deal with you apologizing right now.”

I didn’t say anything more. I moved out of his lap and back over to the side of the bed I slept on. Tripp didn’t move. He stayed where he was.

“Do you do that often?” he finally asked.

“Yes,” I replied. Because it happened most nights. But normally I woke up on my own once the images of that night when I’d found my mother came back to me.

“And you deal with that alone, every night?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Fuck,” he whispered and stood up. “Della why are you alone? You shouldn’t be alone! How the hell have you managed this long?” He rubbed the palms over his eyes and then ran his hands over his hair in a frustrated gesture. “That was intense. Do you even know how scary that shit is? God, Della, you can’t stay alone.”

I pulled the covers up to my chin and leaned against the back of the bed. This was where Tripp realized traveling with me was much more than he had bargained for. I knew this already and it had only been a matter of time.

“I’m fine. Someone being with me doesn’t make the dreams go away. I have them anyway. I’ll leave in the morning.”

Tripp shook his head and walked over to sit down in front of me. “You aren’t going anywhere in the morning. Whatever is running through your head you’re wrong. This isn’t a deal breaker for me Della. I just wasn’t prepared for it.”

I wasn’t sure I believed him but I nodded anyway.

“In the morning I’m taking you golfing. Then we’re going to have lunch together. It’s time the two of us got to know each other better.”

Woods

I hadn’t been