do this anymore. I thought it would be easy to hide. A long-distance relationship wasn’t going to happen anyway, so there was no need to go public.
Just physical. Just fun. That’s all this is.
But I’m sick of her being alone and excluded. How happy would it make her to not stand alone for once?
“I want you to make me show it,” I say. “Why don’t you make me show it? Why do you let me act like a coward?”
She stands there, her back to me, but after a moment, she turns her head, saying in a low voice, “Because I’ll never do anything to bring you more pain. What we’re doing has a shelf-life anyway. It’s not worth it. It’s just fucking, Clay.”
I falter, the words cutting deeper than I expect. I don’t want her to look back on us and think that’s all this was.
But she’s not wrong either. If I can do anything to make her happy for a little while, I know what I’m good at. Digging my phone out of my bag, I text a picture to her. “Good,” I whisper. “Check your message.”
She lifts up her phone, the cheer team flipping into the air and chanting as I watch her shoulders rise with a sudden intake of breath.
“Clay,” she almost pants, tucking her phone away quickly before anyone sees the picture of the toy I ordered.
I lean in, keeping my eyes focused over her head and pretending I’m watching as I whisper, “Can we do that?” I ask her. “I want to ride that in your bed.”
“Jesus, fuck…” She laughs nervously, and I pull out of her hand and slip it under her skirt.
She breathes hard, and I hide my smile, thankful I could take her mind off this bullshit for a little.
“I’ll have it by tomorrow,” I tell her.
Reaching around her front, I rub her through her panties. Her hand covers mine through her skirt as the scent of her hair makes chills spread up my arms.
I want her so bad, I can’t breathe.
I pull away from her, almost in pain, and step quietly through the crowd to the doors. I leave the gym, heading to my locker, because Liv has rehearsal and then work tonight, and I have etiquette class as well as some final prep for the ball.
The wait to see her will be worth it, though.
I round the corner, but I spot Callum, and I stop dead. He has a junior girl pressed into the lockers, and he holds her face, his tongue halfway down her throat.
I tense, my eyes scanning down her knobby-knees and turquoise flats that don’t even match our uniforms.
But her brow work is nice, I guess.
They both look over at me, a slow grin curling Callum’s mouth and a startled look in her eyes. He leans into her ear, whispering, and she looks at me again before ducking out and leaving us. She heads down the hall in the opposite direction, but she needn’t have bothered. I don’t need to talk to him.
I walk, passing him, but he grabs my arm. “You know why you don’t tell me to take a hike?” he asks as I pry myself out of his hold. “Because I’m an investment. You know I need you.”
I narrow my eyes, and he falls into me, my back hitting the lockers as he plants his hands on both sides of my head.
“You know that I know that I’m nothing, and you know the life I promise,” he continues.
I tip up my chin. Is that what he thinks? That I keep him around because I’m just too excited to assume the same role my mother has with my father? A trophy wife to take care of the kids and represent the charities?
“I’m not like my father, Clay.” He stares down at me, and I can smell the girl’s perfume on him. “A powerful man needs a powerful woman, not a weak one. And you will have power.” He pushes off the locker and stands up straight. “You’ll have your lovers in college, and I’ll have mine, and after it’s all done, we’ll come home and build a fucking city. We’ll be quite a team.”
I want to laugh. Like I need him to do any of that.
He takes my face, and I flinch, shoving his hand away. But he comes back in and pulls me into him just as Liv appears around the corner.
I turn to her, my heart stopping as she halts, and the look