Truth, Lies, and Second Dates - MaryJanice Davidson Page 0,4
a colleague. Much, much worse. “No. No, no, no.”
“It’s just that I really think you’d love my wife’s cousin. He’s a great—”
“No. No. No. No. No. No. No.” Then, wary of alarming passengers even with the cockpit door shut, she whispered, “No. No. No. No. No. No.”
“Just one double date.”
“No. No. No. No. No. Stop or I’ll hurl you out of this plane.”
“We’ve docked, so I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t kill me.”
“Who’s talking about killing you? I just want out of this conversation.” And this plane. And this city. State. The Midwest in general. And the unreasonable gym contract she’d signed on January 2. “Enough. Pretend you care about flying—”
“I do care about flying.”
“—and let’s finish up here.”
“Finish up,” he said, and snickered. She bit back a groan; though she hadn’t lived here for years, her dialect was peppered with various Midwesternisms. Same reason she couldn’t stand to watch even one season of Fargo. Screw their quirky characters and exquisitely timed dark humor. “Then have a hotdish.”
“It’s just hotdish. It’s not a hotdish. You’re not going to a school, you’re just going to school. Same thing.”
“Oh, you betcha.”
“Stop that. Do I mock your Chicago patois?”
“Not that I can recall. You save most of your mockery for my fix-ups.”
“As I should. Now don’t take this the wrong way, India, but I’d like to race through our exit protocol and cabin checks so I can get the hell away from you.”
“Can’t set foot on Minnesota terra firma fast enough, huh?”
“Oh my God.” Should have known when I gave Blake the boot—that was going to be the best part of my day. “I’m going to sabotage your next simulator eval.”
“Bring it. I love a challenge.”
Three
THE LIST
Avoid India for at least a week
Get out of memorial
Meeting?
Pick up moisturizer
As she had feared, Dennis and his cousin were waiting for her at the gate. Trying to combine dithering
(“Did you check the toilet for corpses?”
“That happened one time!”)
with racing through checklists
(“Not much left now and then we can get out of here.”
“Seriously, though, if you gave my wife’s cousin a chance…”)
had not worked.
Dennis greeted her with, “It’s so great to see you! Again.” And another awkward A hug.
“You too.”
“And I don’t think you ever met my girlfriend, Xenia.”
Ava shook the woman’s hand, marveling again at the resemblance. “So nice to finally meet you,” Xenia said, smiling. “You probably don’t remember—we crossed paths at the funeral, but…”
But she’d been numb. She could have run into Angelina Jolie and not remembered later. Then his words hit her. “I thought you said you were cousins.”
“Well, I figured it’d be easier for you to place her.”
“We’re not really cousins,” Xenia broke in. “Or at least, not close ones.”
“Our great-grandparents were siblings,” Dennis said.
“So that’s … what? Second cousins? First cousins once removed? Or twice?” Ava started counting on her fingers, which was dumb—how would fingers help here?
“We can legally bang,” Dennis said. “Which is what counts.” And Xenia giggled, which was irritating.
“What a relief,” Ava replied, deadpan. “For a second I was super worried about your sex life.”
“It’s fine,” he replied.
No doubt.
“We can talk about the elephant in the room,” he continued.
Kill me, please. “We can?” Yes, but should we? No. We should not.
“Absolutely.”
Argh.
They both nodded at her, which was unsettling. “Go on. Ask us anything,” Dennis prompted.
“I honestly don’t have any questions. At all.” They waited, clearly not believing her, so she sighed and added, “Fine—Dennis, you’re banging someone who looks like your dead twin sister. You don’t think that’s a little weird? You don’t think other people will find that a little weird? Like your mom? Which, I imagine, is why you’re feeling me out on the subject, no pun intended?”
“What?” From Xenia.
“Oh my God!” From Dennis, eyes bulging in distress. “We were talking about the memorial! We know you don’t want to come!”
“That’s the elephant in the room?”
“Of course it is!”
“If you know I don’t want to come, then why even bring it up?”
“We’re hoping to persuade you! Which is why it’s an elephant!”
Annnnnnd it gets worse. “That’s not the actual elephant.”
“Well, I know that now, obviously!”
“We should stop yelling! Especially in an airport!”
“Good point,” Xenia put in, doing a credible job of sounding less horrified than she’d looked a minute ago.
“Okay, so. The memorial.” Ava coughed. “Danielle’s memorial. Ten years. Right. I don’t think I was invited.”
“Of course you were invited,” he snapped. “After family, you were the first one on the list.” Which would have been flattering, except there were a thousand Monahans. Being guest number