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there on a boat trying to get as close as he could or he'd still be up in the attic trying to find his binoculars.'

Rob laughed.

'I'd go for the boat,' he smiled. 'He'd have been first on the scene.'

I'd have given anything for him to have been there watching the world change with us.

Cold and shivering, I forced myself to move and dragged my tired body into the bathroom.

Chapter 4

When I moved to Thatcham I made a real and very conscious effort to try and keep myself to myself. It wasn't that I didn't want to be with anyone else, rather I didn't want to be drawn into communal life. I didn't want to become just one of the crowd or part of the fixtures and fittings. I wanted some space and some distance from the rest of the world around me. Unfortunately it didn't work.

Drink was my problem.

I was developing a real taste for beer, and it was fast becoming part of the regular routine that I'd vowed never to have. Siobhan, a few friends and myself had got into the habit of going into The Badger's Sett pub every Friday night for a few drinks. I hadn't realised that it had become so routine until, last Friday, I'd walked in there and found my drink waiting on the bar for me. Ray Mercer - the landlord - had poured it ready.

This Friday most people needed a drink more than usual.

Siobhan called at the house just before eight. I watched her arrive from the bedroom window and followed her every step as she walked up the short garden path and let herself in. There was no getting away from the fact that she was absolutely bloody beautiful. The intense buzz of excitement when I saw her was as strong today as it had always been. A clich - perhaps but true nonetheless - she was an inspiration to me. There had been some dark days recently - perhaps the darkest days - and she'd been the single beacon of light that had guided me safely through it all.

She was standing in front of the TV when I walked into the living room. I didn't say anything. I just crept up behind her, wrapped my arms around her and held her tight.

'You okay?' I asked, whispering softly into her ear.

She pushed herself away slightly and turned around so that she could look into my face. She smiled and nodded and we kissed with the kind of passion normally reserved for lovers who have been separated for days or weeks. It had only been a few hours since we'd last been together.

'I'm fine,' she replied, still close and with her gentle breath ticking my face. 'Are you?'

'I'm okay.'

She sat down on the sofa. Like the rest of the population Siobhan was transfixed by the activity out over the ocean and she stared at the television screen in the corner of the room. I, on the other hand, continued to stare at her. Of course I was interested and anxious to know what was happening out at sea, but staring at Siobhan was infinitely preferable. She looked incredible in a short summer dress which left little to the imagination. That wasn't a problem, because there wasn't any aspect of her perfect body which my vivid imagination hadn't already explored a thousand times or more. The clouds had lifted outside and brilliant orange sunlight flooded into the room, blinding her momentarily and obscuring her view of the TV screen. I took advantage of the distraction.

'You look fantastic,' I said as I sat down next to her and pushed my head close to hers. She wrapped her arms (and then her long legs) around me and pulled me close.

'Only fantastic?' she teased, her voice deliberately low and sultry. 'No,' I replied, shuffling closer to her (and shuffling to get comfortable because my trousers were tight and were becoming tighter by the second), 'you look fucking fantastic.'

'That's better.'

I wanted her and she knew it. She was playing with me, and she was driving me wild.

'Fancy me?' she asked. She knew the obvious answer. Something about the way I was literally drooling over her must have given my less than subtle interest away.

'You know I do,' I answered, my breathing suddenly shallow.

'Want me?'

She stretched her legs further round until they held me tight. She pulled me down until the hard bulge in my jeans was pressed tight against her.

'That's a stupid question...'

Robert walked into