Trust Me - T.M. Logan Page 0,131

we’re face to face I know I can’t keep it a secret.

‘What?’ he says finally.

‘There’s something I wanted you to see.’

I’ve been carrying it around with me for the last few days, taking it out and looking at it every hour or so. Studying it last thing at night, and first thing in the morning. I take it out of my purse now and slide it across the table. A single sheet of A4 paper, folded over twice, already starting to crumple at the corners. A new world opening up in six short paragraphs.

Dominic unfolds the paper and reads the text. When he looks up at me, there is a broad smile on his face.

‘Is this . . .’ He trails off.

‘Yes,’ I say. ‘It’s the first stage, anyway. But I thought it was time to move on, get on with my life, do what I needed to do.’

‘That’s brilliant, Ellen, I’m so pleased for you.’

‘According to the agency there are more hurdles to jump, but they say I’m potentially a good fit for adoption and they have kids they’re looking to place. Maybe as soon as summer next year, if I’m lucky.’

‘Boy or girl?’

‘I don’t mind. Either would be amazing.’

He reaches a hand across the table, gently touches my arm. ‘And how do you feel about it?’

‘Excited,’ I say. ‘Still not really believing it’s true. Scared, too.’

‘You, scared?’ He gives me a grin. ‘I didn’t think you were scared of anything.’

I shrug, take another sip of my hot chocolate. ‘Worried that I’ll mess it up, I suppose.’

The few times I’ve been pregnant, I had always been terrified I would lose the baby. And now, buried beneath the joy and excitement and expectation of finally having my own little family, there is still a tingle of concern about whether I’ll make the grade when that dream finally comes true.

‘I think you’ll make a fantastic mother,’ he says. ‘A tiger mother, in a good way.’

‘How do you know?’

Dominic touches a hand to the fading scar on his cheekbone. ‘Because I’ve seen you in action, Ellen Devlin. I know.’ He smiles. ‘Trust me.’

Acknowledgements

As I write these words, I’ve just discovered that my books have sold more than one million copies in the UK. This feels like an astonishing, unimaginable number and I still haven’t really got my head around it, if I’m completely honest. I still remember very clearly being a debut author in January 2017, not sure how my first thriller would be received, wondering whether it might be a one-off. A fluke. To find myself three novels later with one million copies sold is basically a dream come true.

And so to you, for reading this book and hopefully some of my others, I just want to say a huge thank you for being a part of the last four years.

Of course, another key part of the journey has been having a brilliant publisher and I consider myself very lucky to have found a home at Bonnier Books. A big thank you to my editor, Sophie Orme, for her insight and expertise and for always asking the right questions. Thanks also to Kate Parkin, Katie Lumsden, Felice McKeown and Francesca Russell, for all their hard work on this and previous books.

I wrote Trust Me during the spring and summer of 2020, before and during the first national lockdown. With my wife working from home, my daughter returned from university and my son having school lessons delivered online, the house was a lot more lively (in a good way) than during an average pre-lockdown writing day. But it also meant they were always on hand when I needed to talk things through on the story that they first knew – before I even wrote the first chapter – as The Baby. So thanks as ever to Sally, Sophie and Tom for their thoughts, ideas and input into the process.

I’m very grateful to Chris Wall of Cartwright King Solicitors, for his legal advice (if I ever get arrested, I will definitely be giving him a call). And to Chief Superintendent Rob Griffin of Nottinghamshire Police for answering all my questions, even the really weird ones. Thanks also to Dr Gillian Sare, for advice on medical matters and the use and abuse of drugs like dexamphetamine. Naturally, any errors or omissions in the areas of law, policing or medicine are down to me.

I found a non-fiction book by Kate Bendelow – The Real CSI, a Forensic Handbook for Crime Writers – very useful, with