Trust Me - Sheryl Browne Page 0,116

apart. He’d ruined people’s lives to that end. He’d even tried to ruin Millie’s. He hadn’t had a caring bone in his body, no compassion for anyone. Jake was completely different. He cared for her, she knew that without a single shred of doubt. He cared for Millie and for Ben. He hadn’t realised that she was watching from the bedroom window, but she’d seen him come out here after the dreadful events on the day of the fire. He’d stood for a while looking up at the stars, then he’d buried his head in his hands and sat down and wept.

He cared for his patients, every single one of them. He cared for his bastard father too, hence his anger whenever he was around him, the agony in his eyes every time he spoke about him. Those weren’t the emotions of an unconcerned man.

Could she forgive him?

Could he forgive her? They hadn’t had a moment alone together since Paul Lewis had met his just deserts – the animal deserved to burn in hell as far as Emily was concerned. She knew Jake cared, but was that enough? Did he love her? After all she’d felt over the years, imagined or otherwise, she couldn’t contemplate a life where she might be second best.

She braced herself to ask what she had to. She would know immediately whether there was any hope for them. Any way to move forward together. Marriage was a two-way street. Respect and trust were too. Without honesty, they had nothing. ‘Is it yours, Jake?’ she asked quietly. ‘Sally’s baby, is it yours?’

She heard his sharp intake of breath, felt his apprehension. ‘No,’ he said emphatically, after another agonising pause.

She waited. His next statement would seal their fate. Jake would know it. Lies in a relationship, after all, were the worst hurt of all. She’d hurt him immeasurably. His response now would tell her whether they were strong enough to move on, whether he wanted to.

She kept her gaze on the water, sure she could hear the frantic beating of her heart above the gentle swell of it.

‘How did you know?’ he asked eventually, his voice hoarse.

And there it was, honesty. And it hurt, so very much. ‘I’m a woman, Jake, remember?’ Wiping a tear from her face, she paraphrased something he’d said.

Nodding, Jake plunged his hands in his pockets, stared out at the water.

‘How many times?’ she asked.

‘Once,’ he answered, glancing down, his expression ashamed.

‘Recently?’ She didn’t want to know, yet she had to.

Jake nodded barely perceptibly. ‘I have no excuses, Emily, other than that I felt so bloody lonely. The way that you were looking at me when things started to decline so rapidly, as if you truly hated me… I suppose I thought that maybe you’d never really loved me. I started thinking more about Ben, why you could never bring yourself to trust me enough to tell me and … It was a mistake, the worst I’ve made in my life, and I’m sorry.’ He ran a hand over his neck. He didn’t say any more.

‘Do you love her?’ She asked the most important question of all. She couldn’t stay in a marriage where the love had died.

‘No,’ he replied instantly. ‘I care about her, I can’t say I don’t, but I’m not in love with her. Sally … she doesn’t want her marriage to break up. It shouldn’t have happened.’

Emily hesitated. ‘Do you love me? As you should love me, I mean?’

‘I’ve never stopped,’ Jake said hoarsely. ‘I don’t want to go, but if you ask me to, I will. I need you to know that I do love you, though. I always will, no matter what happens.’

It was enough. Emily breathed out. Now she could start rebuilding her world. With her bare hands, brick by brick if she had to. But she would get there – with Jake by her side, God give them strength, because they were a team. They always had been.

Epilogue

‘I still think we should have had a puppy,’ Ben said, gazing down at his new baby sister.

‘Says the man with the soppy grin on his face,’ Millie quipped. ‘I hope you’re going to treat Aurora with more respect than you do her big sister.’

Ben looked up from the tiny bundle in his arms. ‘I put up with your nuisance, don’t I? He gave her a flat smile. ‘And she’s not Aurora, she’s Ophelia, aren’t you, little pickle?’

‘Pickle?’ Jake mouthed, exchanging bemused glances with Emily, who was watching her