Truly, Madly, Like Me - Jo Watson Page 0,94

That I was some kind of creepy stalker. Like that guy from the Netflix show, YOU, narrating his inner monologue in that scary, monotone voice while he watched her naked through her window. I shuddered just thinking about it, and we all know how that show ended . . .

Harun stretched his paws out, then rolled onto his bloody back and closed his eyes to go to sleep, like this was a day spa and he was about to have a massage. The sheer cheek of it all!

“Un. Be. Lie. Va. Ble!” I crept up to the patio, walking as quietly as I could, but when my foot hit some gravel and it made a soft noise, Harun opened his eye and looked at me again. He wasn’t sleeping. In fact, far from it. I could see by looking into that sly, yellow eye that he was up to something. I could almost hear it ticking away in that doggy brain of his—a brain that I’d clearly underestimated. Well, I wasn’t going to make that mistake again. I waggled my finger at him and then mouthed the words, “Don’t you dare!” I crept up the wooden stairs that led to the veranda and then, much like I’d done when I’d seen the snake, I froze.

Oh. My. God.

I shook my head; my eyes were as wide as saucers. I was completely unable to close them, even though this would have been a very appropriate time to do so. I put my hands over my mouth to stop noises coming from it. Again, I should have put them over my eyes, but didn’t. Why wasn’t I covering my eyes? If my eyes were covered then I wouldn’t be seeing . . . that!

It’s just a naked butt, I told myself, in a very cool and calm way. It’s just a naked man’s butt. Not like I’ve never seen one before. Not like I’d never touched one before. But no amount of cool and calm talking to myself was working. Because it wasn’t just anyone’s naked butt, it was Mark’s naked one. It was attached to the man who had kissed me like that . . .

My knees felt weak just thinking about it. But then they turned to cement when I thought about what had happened next. Close your eyes, I told myself again. But just, simply, couldn’t.

I was staring at it now. And it seemed to stare back at me, if that’s possible to imagine. It was staring at me and mocking me.

You’re getting none of this, it seemed to taunt.

A citronella candle was burning next to him. I could smell it, and the flame was dancing in the breeze, causing a little flicker of light to fall across it, making the whole thing so much more obvious.

I looked over at Harun again, very unimpressed by his actions. Very unimpressed that he’d brought me here to Mark and his sleeping behind. I mentally calculated the distance between me and the phone and realized that a few more steps would do it. I held my breath and took another small step. And another one, and another. It dawned on me, though, that if I carried on standing, it would be easier to see me. So, carefully and quietly, I crouched on my hands and knees and started shuffling across the floor towards my phone.

“Hey, Harun. You cute little precious doggy,” I whispered with a forced smile. He rolled over again and cocked his head to the side, as if he was objecting to what I’d just said. “You’re right,” I whispered. “You are not cute and little, what was I thinking . . .! Give me back my phone!” I reached out. My fingertips were so close now, I could feel the phone within my reach and I was going to get it and . . .

“NO!” I hissed, as Harun grabbed the phone once more and stood up. “Where are you goi— No . . . no . . .” I watched in horror. Absolute, shocking horror as he walked all the way up to Mark and then carefully, gently, placed the phone right on his . . .

I inhaled sharply and froze like a damn statue. I waited for Mark to wake up, only he didn’t. How could he not have woken up? He now had a cell phone perched perfectly on one of his round and pert and, oh soooo round . . . I was almost breathless looking