Truly, Madly, Like Me - Jo Watson Page 0,1
sister. My whole world got flipped on its head in an instant. Those next few years were perhaps the loneliest of all. That is, until I discovered Instagram and the wonderful world of diets. Keto, fasting, paleo, vegan . . . You name it, it was all there. And it was there for the taking.
And I took it. With both hands.
I made myself an account and started posting pictures of my weight-loss journey. I became disciplined and focused and tracked absolutely every aspect of my life—every morsel, every step, every hour I slept. At first the followers were slow, but by the time I’d lost my fifth stone, the likes and compliments and followers started rolling in and I wasn’t lonely anymore.
Then I lost the very last stone to hit my target, and that’s when @TheKyleWhite101 took notice of me. Only one of the hottest influencers in the whole of South Africa. He took notice of me. Because I was someone to notice. Finally, a somebody.
Do you know, I started #transformationtuesday? Seriously, that was me. And the more weight I lost, the more I became a somebody. And soon, I was the somebody that everybody wanted to be. The somebody that everybody came to for advice and tips. Brands flocked, and my followers grew and my account became less about weight loss and fitness, and more about #inspo and my amazing, glamorous, perfect life as a social-media influencer with a blue tick next to my name. I still remember the day I got that blue tick, it was one of the happiest of my life. The day the powers that be officially anointed me a somebody, and now the whole world knew that too.
And then 2020 rolled around and I had high hopes all over again, because I celebrated the new year by hitting 350,000 followers. I also celebrated my two-year anniversary with @TheKyleWhite101 as the two of us became the ultimate #couplegoals #powercouple. The couple that everybody wanted to be; him with his motivation “Personal Smash Through™” business, and me with all my brand endorsements. Not to mention our most profitable venture, our “Mega Couple Smash Through Seminars™,” where we taught you how to be like us. Because we were somebodies, and everybody wants to be a somebody with hundreds of thousands of followers. Nobody wants to be a nobody and sit on the sidelines while someone else wins the crown.
But soon, my high hopes turned to hopelessness. Because 2020 was also the year that I lost absolutely everything. In a mere seventy-two hours, I would go from being a somebody, to a total nobody. And @TheKyleWhite101 would go from dating me, to dating @Paige_Dreams_, and the whole world would think I was either losing my mind, or just plain mean.
And do you know what I blame for all that?
The elevator.
That’s right, people, I blame it on the bloody elevator.
Because if I hadn’t got stuck in that elevator on that fateful day, I wouldn’t have run late for the important photoshoot that @TheKyleWhite101 had set up for his new #motivational web series that he was launching. And he certainly wouldn’t have run into @Paige_Dreams_ who had offered to take the photos with him. He wouldn’t have uploaded the photo of them together looking gorgeous and in a matter of minutes have gotten 2,000 new followers. He wouldn’t have then decided that @Paige_Dreams_ was better for his personal brand than me and posted to all our followers on IGTV, telling them about our break-up before I knew I’d been broken up with. Can you believe that? Hundreds of thousands of people knew about my break-up before I did.
If I hadn’t gotten stuck in that elevator, and almost lost my life as it plummeted, I wouldn’t have felt so bloody emotional and shaken that I also took to IGTV and posted that sniffing, sobbing, angry video of myself having an emotional breakdown, that led me to lose 150,000 followers in a matter of hours because I was no longer #inspirational, #powercouple, #couplegoals #fuckingtransformationalbloodyeffingtuesday. #CRAP!
If I hadn’t got stuck in that elevator, I wouldn’t have then taken to Facebook Live later that night and cursed @TheKyleWhite101 and @Paige_Dreams_ and all those people who’d unfollowed me, which then led me to lose another 100,000 over the next day. Not to mention losing all my brand endorsements and, finally, my beautiful sponsored car. I’d hung onto the bonnet while it was being driven away, which had been good for a TikTok video painting me