The Trouble with Peace (The Age of Madness #2) - Joe Abercrombie Page 0,39

course—”

“The wonder is all mine, Your Grace. A genuine hero, adorned with the scars of great deeds. Will you catch me if I faint?”

“Well… I’d do my best—”

“I understand you know my daughter, Savine.”

At that moment, it seemed more likely he’d faint than she would. “We’ve… met. Just the once.” The same number of times they’d fucked. Might’ve been better not to think of that, but now he couldn’t stop. “When I was last in Adua. Four months ago, was it? She struck me as a very attractive…” Terrible choice of word! “I mean… formidable woman.”

“Please, you’re embarrassing me. And certainly yourself.” Lady Ardee laid a familiar hand on his arm. Everyone in Adua was too familiar. “I’m sorry to put you in a corner but I know the two of you were intimate.” She nodded towards Leo’s mother. “We both do.”

“You… do? Oh. Oh.” Damn, he sounded lame. He was a Lord Governor, wasn’t he? Not some stuttering schoolboy. “I assure you I didn’t… take advantage of her… in any sense—”

Lady Ardee laughed. “The man isn’t made who could take advantage of my daughter. I’ve no doubt it was quite the other way around.”

“What?” He wasn’t sure whether that was better or worse, only that he wanted this conversation to end, but his mother had blocked the doorway. There was no escape.

“You know how much I love you, Leo,” she said. “You’re a wonderful leader. Brave, honest, loyal to a fault. I could not be more proud. I have the Young Lion for a son!”

“Rawrrrr,” said Lady Ardee, grinning at him sidelong.

“But lions are not suited to administration. I know you want to do it all, but the last few months have proved to us both that you cannot govern Angland on your own.”

“You are the head of a great family,” said Lady Ardee, “and great families must be sustained. You may want to do it all, but I very much doubt you’ll be bearing any heirs yourself. You need a wife.”

He struggled to put the parts of this conversation together but could only see one way to do it. “You want me… to marry… your daughter?” The whole thing had an air of unreality.

“Whyever not? She’s a beautiful, wealthy, refined, intelligent, impeccably connected and widely admired lady of taste.”

Leo’s mother nodded along. “I was most impressed with her.”

“You’ve met her?” asked Leo. “I feel a bit… ambushed.”

“A famous warrior? Ambushed by two mothers?”

“Two grandmothers,” muttered Lady Ardee, for some reason. “Can you honestly deny anything we’ve said?”

Leo swallowed. “Well, I won’t deny I’m not suited to administration. I don’t deny I need help. I can’t deny Savine’s beautiful, tasteful, refined and all the rest of it, I mean, she’s…” He thought back to that night, and not for the first time. “A hell of a woman.”

“It would be folly to deny that,” said Lady Ardee, tossing her head.

“And no one can deny a man needs a wife, especially a Lord Governor, it’s just…” Both of them were giving him a slightly pitying smile, as though waiting for a moron to comprehend the obvious. “Anyone’d think you’ve booked the date and invited the bloody guests!” Lady Ardee and Lady Finree exchanged a loaded glance. Leo felt the cold shock creeping further up his throat. “You’ve booked the date and invited the guests?”

“Lord Isher has kindly agreed to make his grand event a double wedding,” said Lady Ardee.

“Kindly agreed to bask in your reflected glory,” murmured Leo’s mother.

“But…” squeaked Leo, “that’s next week!”

“You are no longer a carefree young man. You are a great lord of the realm. When did you expect to marry?”

“Not next bloody week!”

“We realise it’s a lot to take in,” said Lady Ardee, “but delay serves nobody’s interests. Regardless of who took advantage of whom, you have placed my daughter in a difficult position.”

“She is pregnant,” chimed in his mother, “with your bastard.”

Leo opened his mouth but only a choked-off gurgle came out. “But… how…”

Lady Ardee rolled her eyes. “I’d hoped you’d be versed in the basics but, if we must. Have you ever noticed that girls and boys have different things between their legs?”

“I know where babies come from!”

“Then you appreciate the responsibilities that emerge with them.” Lady Ardee took a nip from a flask she’d produced as if by magic, then offered it around. “Drink?”

“Reckon I’d better,” he said numbly, taking a little swig. It proved to be a very good brandy. He stared off hopelessly into the corner as its warmth spread down