cracks without permission and her eyes quickly dart to the floor in a very un-Raven-like move.
Every muscle in my body locks, a sudden sickness spinning in my gut.
What the hell...
I glance to my brother, hoping for a sign of what he’s thinking, but his stare is just as wary as mine.
“Raven...” I try again, a little calmer this time and finally her stormy eyes hit mine.
My lungs constrict as I get a good look.
Her makeup has worn off, eyes are puffy and red, a silent scream bristling, a flicker of something I can’t quite read sitting at the edge, ready to burst.
I bite into my cheek to keep my mouth shut, fighting for some damn restraint when it’s the last thing I want to do.
I had every fucking intention of ripping into her and not letting up but staring at her now, standing in front of me all beat up and bruised, emotionally drained from whatever is running through her mind, and physically from being attacked at our underground ring, I can’t fucking do it. My shoulders fall.
“I need ... a shower and sleep.” Even though she says it, she doesn’t move right away.
She doesn’t move at all until I take a half step toward her. That kicks her into gear and she hustles for the stairs.
Both Cap’s and my eyes follow until her feet are no longer seen on the steps.
He turns back to me, speaking low. “I knew she was off earlier, but I can’t convince myself it has anything to do with the fight.”
“Cap.” My fucking body is weighted, ready to drop. “Tell me it’s not because we weren’t there to help her. Tell me she doesn’t look at me and see a man who can’t keep her safe.”
Captain grips my shoulder, looking me dead in the eye. “She left on her own, man, she purposely stepped away from us. The question we need to be asking is, was it because she needed a minute to herself” —he lifts his brows— “or because she needed to take care of something she didn’t want us to be a part of? And I don’t know the answer, my man. But what happened to her last night? That shit wasn’t your fault.”
“What if it was?” I argue. “What if she was jumped because of what we’ve made her?”
Cap laughs lightly, but it’s defeated. “We didn’t make her anything, brother. Raven was born who she is. Yeah, we brought her into our world, but she came in strong and determined. It’s why she blended instantly. All we can do is try to understand the fucked-up way she was raised to think. Maybe down the road, she’ll understand she’s not alone anymore.”
I narrow my eyes on him. “Why do you sound like you know she pulled some shit tonight?”
He sighs, releasing me. “I don’t know, but I feel like she’s in her head right now. Last time she was like this was when we tried to force her hand the day her mom showed up and she purposely tried to get herself kicked out of the Bray house, all to prove a point. That she was in control of her own moves.”
“Things are different now,” I all but growl.
We’re not fucking dispensable to her. I know it.
I fucking feel it.
His eyes widen as he lifts his brows. “Exactly. It was all about her then and she still made a move that would be bad for herself, get her ass sent back to the hell she lived in, out of spite, but she’s one of us now. Even if she hasn’t said it out loud, she knows it, and look what she did for us when she didn’t give a shit who we were... Pushing the girl in the pool at that Graven party, roping up the chick who had the video of Coach and his girl, the shit at the warehouses when she tried to let us get out without being seen, the cabins...”
When my brows dig in, he nods.
“Now, imagine what she’d do for us now that she cares.”
Fuck. He’s right.
I run my hands down my face and I push past him. “I can’t think about this shit right now, Cap. We’ll figure it all out tomorrow or fuck, tonight, after the game.”
“Yeah,” he sighs. “That’s probably a better idea.”
He follows behind me, disappearing into his room.
I stop by the bathroom, finding the water still running, so I head for mine to rinse off real quick.