The Trouble With Angels Page 0,52

and discovered he was trembling. His breath came fast and hard.

A knock sounded against his door, and with a guilty jerk of his shoulders he straightened. "Yes," he said, making his voice as unemotional and businesslike as he could.

Leta stepped just inside his office. "Mr. Bartelli wanted you to know that Madge is much worse. He's contacted the children, and they're coming. It doesn't look as though Madge will last until Christmas."

Paul's heart sank like a concrete block. "I see," he said.

"Bernard's spending most of his time at the hospital. You probably won't be able to catch him by phone there."

"You're right, of course. I'll stop in at the hospital soon." But he didn't say when. Didn't know when he'd work up the courage to lend comfort when he'd found none himself.

Leta didn't leave. She hedged as if she weren't sure what to say, then finally blurted out, "Do you want me to ask someone else to be with the Bartellis?"

"Someone else?" He was their pastor. But he wasn't there when they needed him.

"Steve Tenny or another one of the elders," she suggested.

Paul stared at her and realized how badly he'd failed the people he'd guided spiritually all these years. "Yes," he whispered, "perhaps that would be best."

Leta closed the door softly, and Paul pressed his elbows against his desk and hung his head as the shame and guilt pummeled him. Working on his sermon now was impossible. He felt bone dry. He had nothing to say.

Some time later Paul found himself sitting in the back row of the sanctuary. The church was semidark. What light was available was muted by the stained glass. For a long time he did nothing but sit.

Two of the lambs he had vowed to shepherd had needed him, and he had turned his back on them. He'd surrendered his duties to another because he'd been unable to cope with all that was involved with Madge's illness.

It would have been easier, he mused, if the cancer that ate away at Madge Bartelli wasn't the same rare type that had claimed Barbara. One he knew so intimately himself. He recognized each stage, relived the agonies.

He couldn't do this anymore. Couldn't face Madge, knowing her pain. Couldn't console Bernard when he'd found no consolation himself.

He'd failed these two people he loved. Failed God. Failed himself.

The heaviness in his chest was almost unbearable.

He'd learned to live without Barbara, but he didn't know if he could live with the man that he'd become without her.

Catherine was absolutely delighted. She didn't know what was developing between Joy and her grandson, but whatever it was looked promising. The sparkle was back in his eyes, and when he'd winked at her, it was all she could do to keep from clapping her hands and laughing outright. That boy was up to something.

On the other hand, Joy looked thoroughly confused and more than a little flustered by the attention Ted was paying her. Her cheeks had glowed an unnatural shade of pink when she'd stood to leave the library.

Catherine might be an interfering old woman, but she'd certainly like to know what was happening between these two people she loved so dearly.

Someone tapped on her apartment door. She rarely kept it locked, and most people knew that. Ted stuck his head inside.

"Howdy, Grandma."

"Ted," she said, absolutely delighted to see him. "You're a sight for sore eyes."

"I don't suppose you have any of those chocolate-chip cookies left over from the other day, do you?"

Catherine grinned. "I imagine I could dig up a couple, if you promise not to ruin your dinner."

"Promise," he said, coming inside the apartment and making himself at home.

Catherine moved into her tiny kitchen and brought out two cookies on a plate. Her head buzzed with questions about him and Joy, but she didn't want him to think she was prying.

"I see you've met our Joy," she said casually, and sat across from him.

Ted gobbled down both cookies before he answered. "She's about the stubbornest woman I've yet to meet."

"Joy Palmer?"

"You don't know her the way I do." His eyes flashed with humor. "I'd like to get to know her a whole lot better, but she's resisting me. Personally, I don't understand how she can continue to ignore my charm and good looks."

Catherine laughed. "Maybe she keeps stumbling over your humility."

Ted grinned and thoughtfully rubbed the side of his jaw. "Perhaps that's the problem."

"There isn't a man or woman here who isn't crazy about Joy," Catherine told him. "She's much