“I’ve never seen her so happy.” Chloe smiles and leans her head on Savvy’s shoulder. “Whoever this Trisha is, I’d like to hug her. She’s—”
“Chloe,” Savvy whispers a stern warning as she shimmies her shoulder, trying to get Chloe to stop kittening up to her.
“Sorry.” Chloe straightens up.
“So …” I ask, “who is this Trisha?”
Savvy scowls at me and rolls her eyes as she looks away.
“I said sorry.” I hear Chloe whisper.
Except for homeroom, I haven’t seen her in three days, which is pretty much the longest stretch since we have technically become “friends.” I straight up missed the hell out of her.
I hit the side of her leg with my knee, and she looks at me, her annoyance slowly disappearing, then looks away. Then she pushes her knee against my leg, and it feels better than any kiss I have ever gotten in my life.
I catch her checking me out, and she catches me doing the same.
“Trisha?” I whisper to her, and her lips purse together as she tries not to smile, but that dimple pops.
She sets her phone on the desk, and I see it’s shattered.
“You got the IOS 21 update, huh?”
She rolls her eyes.
The entire class, I spend wondering who the fuck Trisha is.
When the bell rings, she jets out the door again, and I remember what she said about me walking with her. I still think it sucks, but as the saying goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day. It actually took about seven years to completely build the Colosseum alone, and one earthquake to fuck it up forever. I’m hoping seven years isn’t the case with her and me getting closer. Obviously, the goal is to spend the rest of my high school career being with her. I was pretty solid on the fact it was leaning that way … until this Trisha thing came up.
No regrets. I have done what I have done to ensure that any type of physical need that “pops” up—because I’m all sorts of wanting to get up inside her, and not just physically, and she’s pushing me away like she’s done in the past—doesn’t become too hard on my resolve that I hook up with someone to feel the release I crave and ruin something I know could be good. So, JT and I snuck into the city yesterday. Some chick he’s worked with did my piercing, and he decided to do it, too. He’s got a PA; I’ve got a deep shaft reverse PA. The entire way back, he was moaning and whining. Yeah, it hurt, but straight-up, it was quick. I’m giving it a solid four to twelve weeks for healing. By then, I’m hoping she’s figured out what I already know.
She’s been raised to hate men, then she comes here, and these fucks show her she should, but her eyes are opening to the fact that it’s not just men who can be shitbags. Humans have a choice to be good or bad, to love or hate, to crave power or want harmony—none of which are gender neutral.
She says she likes girls, but she never once uttered the words “I’m a lesbian.” If she did, I would accept that and still be her friend—best fucking friend outside my crew—but I would be getting that physical need met elsewhere. Down deep, though, that pull, that ache to see that one person, that crackle inside, like your soul is on fire, that’s different, so much so that it can’t be ignored.
Watching her in Lit and Gym, there was another first time feeling brewing inside of me—jealousy.
Fucking Trisha. How does a guy fight for a girl with a girl?
Two periods long, I think of that shit. Then the crew and I stay through our lunch period at the fitness center, and I work through some of it by raising those endorphins, but not totally.
European History class, I sit with Truth and Justice as I have been since we started here. Savvy is two rows back, by herself. I look back frequently, and her nose is in the textbook the entire time. The rest of the class opts for using an electronic device, but not Savvy, and I dig that about her. I wonder if Trisha does.
Truth, however, holds most of my attention. She’s sucked into the drama on that app.
“T,” I whisper, “ignore that shit.”
She shakes her head.
“T, seriously, whatever they’re saying doesn’t mean shit.”
“I know, but this wasn’t how this was supposed to be.”