Tribute Page 0,33

paid them. According to my mother-and her bitterness over it tells me it's true-Janet paid each of the families of those boys a considerable sum of money. Undisclosed amount, even to my mother. And again, according to the gospel of Dilly, Janet only kept the farm as a kind of monument to Johnnie, and tied it up in trusts for decades after her own death for the same reason. But I don't believe that."

"What do you believe?"

"I believe Janet kept it because she was happy here. Because she could hear her own thoughts here, even when those thoughts were dark and dreadful." She sighed, sat back. "Give me another glass of wine, will you, Ford? That'll make three, which is my absolute personal high-end limit."

"What happens after three?"

"I haven't gone over three in years, but if history holds, I go from relaxed, perhaps mildly and pleasantly buzzed, to drunk enough to have yet one or maybe two more. Then I'd be very drunk, jump you, and wake up tomorrow with a hangover and only blurred memories of our encounter."

"In that case, you're cut off after this." He poured the wine. "When we encounter, your memory's going to be crystal."

"I haven't decided on that yet, you know."

"That's okay, I have." He propped his chin on his fist, stared at her. "I can't get myself out of your eyes, Cilla. They keep pulling me in."

"Janet Hardy's eyes."

"No. Cilla McGowan's eyes."

She smiled, sipped her last glass of wine. "I was going to make up an excuse-or not even bother to make one up-about not coming tonight."

"Is that so?"

"That is so. Because you got bossy about my living arrangements."

"Defining 'bossy' as 'sensible.' Why did you come?"

"Buying the toilets put me in a really good mood. Seriously," she said when he choked out a laugh. "I've found my thing, Ford. After a long time looking."

"You found your thing in toilets."

It was her turn to laugh. "I found my thing in taking something broken down or neglected, or just a little tired, and making it shine again. Making it better. And doing that's made me better. So because I was in a good mood, I walked across the road. I'm really glad I did."

"So am I."

SHE DIDN'T SEE him or Spock when she let herself in his home gym the next morning. Cilla plugged in her iPod and got down to business. She gave herself a solid hour, and at some point during it the dog strolled out into the backyard and lifted his leg a number of times. But there was still no sign or sound from Ford when she let herself out again, with one wistful glance at his hot tub.

No time for jets and indulgence, she told herself. But as Spock raced over, so obviously thrilled to see her, she spent a good ten minutes rubbing him while he gurgled and grunted in what seemed to be some form of communication. The workout, the silly dog, just the day itself put her in a fine mood as she jogged back across the road. She showered off the workout sweat, downed coffee and a blueberry yogurt. By the time she strapped on her tool belt, her crews and subs began to arrive.

It took time, every morning, but Cilla was happy to spend it. Talking, evaluating, brainstorming away problems.

"I'm going to expand the bathroom, Buddy," she told him, and, as she expected, he let out a windy sigh.

"The one I'm using now, not the one you've roughed in."

"That's something anyway."

"I've already talked to Matt," she said. "Come on up, and I'll show you what we're going to do."

He hemmed and he hawed, but that was expected, too. In fact, she'd come to look forward to it. "Now that we're putting my office upstairs instead of in this bedroom, I'm going to use this space to make it a master suite. We'll be taking out this wall," she began.

He listened, he scratched, he shook his head. "Gonna cost you."

"Yes, I know. I'll draw it up in more detail later, but for now, here's the idea." She opened her notebook to the sketch she'd drawn with Matt. "We'll keep the old claw-foot tub, have it refurbished and set here. Floor pipes and drains. Double sinks here, and I'm thinking undermount."

"Guess you'll be putting a slab of granite or whatnot."

"No, zinc."

"Say, what?"

"Zinc countertop. And over here, I'm putting in a steam shower. Yes," she said before he could speak. "Hollywood ideas. Glass block here, to form the water