Tree Of Souls (Transfusion Saga #6) - Stephanie Hudson Page 0,69

story long before getting on board. Telling people that I wrote articles for a travel magazine and next month’s issue was a feature all about life on board. I even had a catchy title for it, just to add weight to my backstory, it was going to be called,

‘Lonely or Lively Life at Sea.’

Of course, I think some of the ladies at my craft table got the wrong impression to this as I ended up with a different grandson’s phone number or email address every day, and I was gaining quite a collection. Enough at least to have my own black book half filled, should I feel the need to become a sexed-up floozy during this next stage of my life.

But through all the smiles and jokes told, I always ended the day stood in front of the mirror, removing my make-up and asking myself what the fuck it was that I was doing? I wanted to call home every damn day! I wanted to talk to my mum and hope that if I absorbed the lies enough, then I had the power to turn them into truth.

I wanted to speak to my dad and ask him how he was after what I had forced him to discover, feeling guilty of the fact every day since it happened. I also wanted to call Wendy, or even Ben, who admittedly I hadn’t spoken to since the day I left London…since I discovered he had been planted in the building and ordered to become my friend.

I wanted to connect with those I loved and cared about, but I knew that with everyone, there was a chance of a slip up. A chance that something could be discovered from the conversations we would have. I already knew that they had most likely got to Wendy, as I suspected they would. No doubt Dante would have been in charge of that one. Gods, I even felt guilty for that, wondering what I might have put her through.

But no matter how tempted I was and how alone I felt, I just couldn’t chance it. So, I would just have to wait. Because really, just how long was Lucius willing to hunt me down for my parents’ sake? Because he felt responsible?

I mean, it was clear that Lucius obviously cared for me on some level as I would be an idiot to believe anything else. But I also knew that he wasn’t above trying to lure me back by any means necessary. And it had become obvious that lying was already a skill of his that I had been a victim of far too many times before.

But what hurt the most was that I missed it. I missed the lie so fucking much that behind this closed door and in this small cabin, I couldn’t hide it. Not even from myself. Because the tears in my eyes that stared back at me every night wouldn’t go away. They just wouldn’t leave me. The pain wouldn’t go away.

Not even for a second.

No, all that would happen was that numbness you relied on to make it through the day and function. The cloak you wrapped around yourself whilst you smiled at others and made polite conversation. The cloak that made your heartbreak invisible to everyone around you. But it was a cloak that you had no choice but to remove at the end of the day, hanging it up by the door at the ready to use the moment you had to leave and face the world again.

Then there had been the couple dancing and something in me crumbled. I had watched that couple dance and the sight of their love for each other had set my cloak of fake smiles alight. Burning it to ashes at my feet as if I had just stabbed a rogue. I had tears streaming down my eyes and found myself stumbling back to my room after the wrong man had asked me to dance. After the wrong man’s hand was offered and I looked up to see it attached to the wrong man. That’s when my illusion to the world on board had shattered and six strong cocktails and the offer of a dance had been all it had taken for me to break.

To call him.

Oh sure, I had convinced myself it had all been solely for the promise of sleep, but it was a lie. I just needed to hear his voice. That beautiful voice that I just wanted to